God’s Diversity of Gifts
Filed under: Doctrine & Covenants, Finding joy within the gospel, Gospel Principles, Practices & Precepts, LDS Practices, Men & Priesthood, Priesthood, Priesthood, Self-Worth, Service, Uncategorized, Women
Mormon scriptures teach that every person God creates is given gifts, talents, traits, and experiences from Him, to be used to help others, as well as to bless our own lives. They are His gifts to us. What we choose to do with them is our 
gift to God. It does no good, for instance, to be given a gift to teach powerful spiritual messages if we refuse to learn about Jesus or turn down an opportunity to teach Sunday School.
11 For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.
12 To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby. (See Doctrine and Covenants 46: 11-12.)
Everyone, male and female, can receive spiritual gifts. The scriptures list many of these gifts, and it can be interesting, as we read, to highlight each gift mentioned. The gifts bless the holder of the gifts if he uses them wisely, but they can also be used to bless others. A person who has the gift of faith can use it to find the truth among conflicting and confusing choices. This gift can be used to help that person become a member of the Savior’s church. It comes to her through the Spirit of Christ. After receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost, her faith grows even more. She might then choose to use that gift to pray for others or to share her faith with those who were not given as strong a gift as she received.
We’re taught that it is appropriate to pray for certain gifts, if we are prepared to use them wisely in the service of others, rather than to glorify ourselves. A person who is invited to teach a class, but lacks the gift to teach can begin to pray for it. While praying, of course, she must do what she can to improve her teaching skills, but God will step in and honor righteous requests if they are part of His plan for us. A prayer to become the greatest teacher in the world is not likely to be honored, because this is a prideful request, but a prayer to have the ability to teach the class one has agreed to teach will be honored.
The diversity of the human race is one of God’s best ideas. If we all had the same talents, gifts, and assignments, most things wouldn’t get done. The world needs writers, but it doesn’t need everyone to be a writer. It needs gardeners, but everyone doesn’t need a talent for gardening. Because each of us has different talents and passions, everything that needs doing gets done. If we each had all the talents possible in equal proportion, we might find ourselves spread too thin, and most things wouldn’t get accomplished. We’d all be doing whatever was easiest or created the most wealth, given human nature.
In the same way, God divided up certain tasks and assigned them to specific genders. Only women were given the ability to give birth. This doesn’t mean God loves men less; it only means that doesn’t happen to be one of the tasks assigned to them. Only men hold the priesthood, but that does not say women aren’t worthy or capable of holding it. Priesthood is an office, not a gender, but assigning it to men keeps it focused, just as assigning childbirth only to women keeps that aspect of life focused.
Within the Mormon Church, there are a great many tasks to be completed, because we have a lay religion and very complex programs. Everyone is asked to take on his or her share of the work. Tasks are assigned in various ways that make the church run more smoothly. Some are assigned by age: Only a twelve or thirteen year old girl may serve as a youth leader in the Beehive Program. (Beehives are girls of that age in the Young Women’s program for teenagers.) Others are assigned by gender: Only women can serve as Primary or Relief Society Presidents. (These are, respectively, the organizations for children and women.) Some tasks are open to anyone who is an adult: Anyone may teach the children or the literacy classes, even though only women can lead those programs. Some tasks are assigned by office: Only a person who holds the office of a high priest can serve as a bishop (the leader of a congregation.) It might appear that the rule is that only men can be bishops, but actually, the rule is that only high priests can be bishops. A good and worthy man who does not hold the office of high priest in the priesthood cannot be a bishop, no matter how qualified he is otherwise.
While it’s true that only men are to hold the Mormon priesthood (as we see from even a casual study of the Bible), this does not limit a woman from serving God, anymore than not being able to be the Primary president limits a man’s ability to serve God. There are many ways to serve, and God does not love the priesthood holders more than the Primary president—or the door greeter. We don’t get bonus points for serving in certain kinds of positions. God asks us to serve wherever He needs us, and if we do this well, we are blessed for our attitude and willingness to serve, not for the specific task accomplished.
Men holding the priesthood receive no special blessings over the women. It isn’t about power or blessings, or God’s love. It is, rather, about our trust in God and His plan. If we have a testimony that the Savior is at the head of the church, and that He sees with a vision greater than our own, we won’t waste valuable mortality hours fretting over what gifts or offices we don’t have. Instead, we’ll work hard to develop those God has asked us to take on. As with every other aspect of the gospel, it really comes down to a testimony. How much do you trust God?
When I was first investigating the church, the priesthood issue concerned me. As a teenager raised in the 1970s, I thought women’s lib was what I was supposed to be living, even though I was known for my love of taking care of children. In other words, my nature was fairly traditional, if you leave out housework. The missionaries, when asked about priesthood at the first lesson, told me they’d be happy to discuss it with me, but I needed more background and training in prayer first. They asked me to learn to pray, and to continue to study, and then we’d discuss it. By the time I was able to understand the answers, I no longer needed to ask the question. I had learned to get my own answers through prayer and I had come to see how much God valued the woman’s place in His kingdom. I understood that being told I had to turn into a man was degrading to women and insulting to God, who created gender. It was no longer a problem for me. I had become proud of the person God created in me.
Over the years, I’ve longed for certain gifts. Some I’ve been able to receive, such as an improved ability to teach. Others were not my calling, such as a desire to sing. Over the years, as I’ve grown and matured, I’ve stopped wasting time fretting over what I don’t have, and have begun to be thankful for what I do have. God gave me a most interesting gift box of traits, talents, and experiences. I would be ungrateful and unworthy of those gifts if I wasted my life whining they weren’t good enough.
A Woman’s Responsibility to Increase in Faith and Personal Righteousness
Filed under: Discussion of General Relief Society Meetings, Finding Your Place in Relief Society, Self-Worth
An organization is only as strong as its’ members. When discussing religious organizations, the strength is measured largely in an individual’s faith and personal righteousness.
In the Sept. 2008 Women’s General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed the Mormons), Julie B. Beck, Relief Society General President, addressed this very idea when discussing how to better help the women of the Latter-day Saint Church fulfill their purpose within this world-wide organization.
“To do our part under the plan of the Lord, we are to increase our faith and personal righteousness. Membership in the Church requires faith, which we nourish throughout our lives with great ‘diligence, and patience, and long-suffering’ (Alma 32:43)” (Julie B. Beck, “Fulfilling the Purpose of Relief Society”, Women’s General Conference, 2008).
Faith and personal righteousness are principles that must be acted upon before they can increase. They must be tested, or experimented with, before we can gain a true and honest testimony of their power in our personal lives. One of the most well known examples for members of the Mormon Church of how the principle of faith (and subsequently all other principles) can be tested to know of it’s truthfulness can be found in the Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ. Feel free to read Alma 32:28-43 for the exact scriptural account.
We start with an object lesson, that of comparing the principle we are hoping to gain a testimony to a seed. You plant the seed, water it, give it plenty of sunshine, and wait to see if it will grow. If it grows, it is a good seed.
By the same token we are given principles to live. We must take one and plant it within our hearts, not rejecting it even before it has a chance to grow. We must nurture this idea through scripture study, through pondering, and through prayer. If the ‘seed’ is good, it will “begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me” (Alma 32:28).
The gospel of Jesus Christ is filled with many good seeds that can begin to enlarge our souls and enlighten our minds, but it is not enough to simply let them sprout. We must work to allow these little seeds to grow into grand trees with deep roots. It is necessary to continue working through more study, prayer and pondering, but also by living the principles. Now it is time to put them to the test.
Sister Beck brings to mind an extraordinary example of what it means to have our faith put to the test through the trials faced by women at the time of the Restoration of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
“Early pioneer women were driven from homes and persecuted because of their faith. Others survived fires and floods. They crossed oceans and walked thousands of miles, tolerating dirt, illness, and near starvation to help build the Lord’s kingdom on the earth. Many of them buried husbands, children, parents, and siblings along the way. Why did they do this?
“The did it because the fire of their faith burned in their souls. These remarkable women were not seeking fine clothing, greater leisure, large earthly mansions, or more possessions…they had a conviction and a testimony that the restored gospel of Jesus Christ was true and that the Lord needed them to do their part in establishing His kingdom on the earth” (ibid).
We work most passionately towards those things we have a firm conviction of and testimony in. For most women in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a firm and abiding testimony of the truthfulness not only of the Church, not only of the Relief Society organization within it, but also of the individual and sacred role of each and every person within it is not only sincere, but a power to be reckoned with.
For those who have not yet gained this strong testimony, the path to receive it has been given in Alma. It is only up to the individual person to take the first step.
I have a firm testimony of this Church, and have since I was seventeen years old. I have put the principle of faith to the test and have been blessed to see my faith come out stronger. I am still coming to recognize the extraordinary power behind this organization of women, and of the remarkable things that can be accomplished when we are all working together.
Perhaps that’s because, as Sister Beck indicated:
“Their pursuit of personal righteousness was a daily effort to become more like the Savior through repentance, scripture study, prayer, obedience to commandments, and through seeking after everything ‘virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy’” (ibid).
Understanding the Power of Relief Society
Filed under: Discussion of General Relief Society Meetings, Finding Your Place in Relief Society, Self-Worth, Supporting the Priesthood
The Lord has appointed each sister belonging to Relief Society to help, support, and further the work of the priesthood within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) in building up the kingdom of God. It is a sacred responsibility to be met with soberness and a sincere desire to understand the purpose and power behind this massive organization of women.
In a recent Women’s General Conference of the Latter-day Saint Church, Julie B. Beck (Relief Society General President) spoke on how we might fulfill the purpose of Relief Society. She begins by informing us we must first search to understand why Relief Society was established in the first place.
It is impossible to understand why we have an organization for women in the Church without having an understanding of the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Lord, knowing about the calamities that would come to pass in these latter days, spoke to His servant Joseph Smith Jr, “and gave him commandments;….
“That faith…might increase in the earth;
“That [His] everlasting covenant might be established;
“That the fullness of [His] gospel might be proclaimed by the weak and the simple unto the ends of the world” (D&C 1:17, 21-23).
The work of the Lord is accomplished as His gospel is “preached unto every nation, and kindred, and tongue, and people” (D&C 133:37) and as His everlasting covenant is established through the ordinances of the temple (Julie B. Beck, “Fulfilling the Purpose of Relief Society,” 2008).
Throughout history the Lord has asked the women of His church to help further the work of building up His kingdom, beginning with the first woman who was placed on this earth, even Mother Eve. This remarkable woman was chosen to be a helpmeet to Adam.
“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18).
This term ‘helpmeet’ has lost much of the original meaning. If we were to think of a helpmeet in modern terms, we think of someone who is inferior, an assistant, or subordinate. This is not the correct and intended meaning behind the words used to describe Eve.
According to the biblical scholar David Freedman, the Hebrew work translated there into English as “help” is ezer. This word is a combination of two roots, one meaning “to rescue,” “to save,” and the other meaning “to be strong.”…
[Freedman] concluded, “When God creates Eve…, His intent is that she will be – unlike the animals – ‘a power (or strength) equal to him.’”…
Eve came to Adam uniquely prepared to perform her assigned duties, to act as a companion with the first high priest in mortality – to be a partner with him” (Campbell, Beverly, “Eve and the Choice Made in Eden,” Bookcraft, 2003, pp.23-25).
This message, that woman was created to be an equal partner with men, is essential in order to have the faith and confidence necessary for any woman who is ready and willing to build up God’s kingdom.
Christ himself encouraged both Mary and Martha to participate in His work, to listen to His words and teachings, and to act upon them (Luke 10:38-42). This encouragement has not stopped. Women across the world work to bring light, aid, and love to all those in need. This is also true of the women’s organization of the Latter-day Saint Church.
“The organization of Relief Society in 1842 mobilized the collective power of the women and their specific assignments to build the Lord’s kingdom, just as the organization of priesthood quorums gave men specific responsibilities….
“To summarize, the purpose of Relief Society, as established by the Lord, is to organize, teach, and inspire His daughters to prepare them for the blessings of eternal life” (Julie B. Beck, “Fulfilling the Purpose of Relief Society,” 2008).
If we are to come together as a powerful force in building up the kingdom of God, women must come to realize their worth in the eyes of God: not better than, nor lesser than, but equal to our beloved companions here on this earth. When this fact is sealed into the center of our beings, we will prove a force the likes of which cannot be made to stumble.
The Power of Women to Create
Filed under: Discussion of General Relief Society Meetings, Self-Worth, Service
In the recent General Women’s Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed the Mormon Church), there seemed to be a specific theme that ran throughout most of the talks.
At first I thought it came to my attention simply because this particular subject is something that’s not only been on my mind a lot lately, but in my heart. It wasn’t until I began to talk with many other women that I began to realize it was a subject truly needed at this time, as it seems to have struck the hearts of them as well.
For me this particular theme was best illustrated in President Dieter F. Uchtdorf’s talk, wherein he told of one particular difference between men and women through the example of making dinner.
His wife, he tells us, puts together a grand meal. The food, something which she will often cook from one of the many countries they’ve visited, is delicious to the taste. She labors over the meal, wanting to make it a pleasant event. Everything down to the dinner presentation is remarkable to behold, enticing to the eye and nose.
Regardless of how wonderful the meal turns out to be, however, no matter how much those who had the pleasure of partaking say how much they enjoyed the meal, this sweet woman could always find a little something she should have done better.
“I really think this dish could have used a bit more curry,” she might say. Or perhaps, “I might try putting in some cinnamon next time.”
Then President Uchtdorf went on to describe how he prepares a meal. According to his wife his best dish is, “fried eggs…sunny side up.” He also told us how he prepares his own particularly favorite dish. He slices a few pieces of french bread, then browns them on both sides.
“It doesn’t matter that the eggs are a bit greasy, or if the toast is a bit burnt,” he claims. He laughingly proclaims he feels himself a hero for having cooked anything at all!
It was at this point so many things clicked for me. All throughout the talks I heard snippets of, “Nothing we do seems to be good enough.” This quickly translated to, “I don’t seem to be good enough.”
I’m thinking in particular of the women of this Church. Often it has seemed to me we place so much pressure on ourselves to be more than perfect, because we have the restored gospel in place. Yet this is typical of women everywhere.
We take so much upon ourselves we’re suffocating, and still we think we should have done more. We create something beautiful and then tell everyone what’s wrong with it. We undermine ourselves when our Heavenly Father is ready and willing to tell us how extraordinary we are.
We find too many things wrong with everything we do right.
Yet this is not God’s view of us and our works. We are God’s children, the same God who created us in the first place. He gave unto us two of His greatest traits: the desire to create, and extraordinary compassion.
This desire and ability to create comes so easily to some. I am one of those, because of the gifts my Heavenly Father has blessed me with. I take to things easily, I can pick up a new hobby as easily as I pick up my babies. I tinker at the piano, I’ve crocheted many an afgan, I can bake a mean cookie, I can draw a little, and take a few pictures.
The funny thing is, the things people most seem to appreciate about me, and that I appreciate about others, can’t be handed over, eaten, or seen. To create something Godly goes far beyond what we can see and hear. It involves more than a beautiful voice or how well someone handles a paintbrush.
I know a woman who can create the sense of safety to anyone who will trust enough to let her in. I know another who can create overwhelming love, no matter who walks through her door.
I know a woman who can create motivation in those who have given up. I know another who can create a smile in every person she meets, even those who will rarely smile for anyone else.
I know so many women who have the power to create magical things, who hold within themselves Godlike traits, though they rarely understand what power they hold.
If you’re not sure what your gifts are, how your greatest creations have blessed the lives of others, pray for understanding. Then, listen for the whisperings of the Holy Spirit.
Remember, the more you trust and rely on the promptings and inspirations of the Holy Spirit, the more your capacity to create will increase. It’s when we trust too much in our weak, mortal selves that we loose sight of the extraordinary beings God has created.
Today my hope for all of you is to find the little things you create. Whether it be happy, healthy, well-loved children, a quilt you’ve been working hard on, answering a need you feel greatly inspired to follow, it doesn’t matter. Just rejoice in the opportunity to create, to be like our Heavenly Father. Never mind everything you might think is wrong with your creation, and focus on every little thing that’s right.
Rejoice in being a woman.
A Conversation of Truth . . . Being Black in the Mormon Church
Filed under: Home and Family, Self-Worth, Supporting the Priesthood
I had the wonderful opportunity of sitting down with a fantastic woman who has enlightened me in a number of ways. I decided I wanted to share with our LDSBlogs.com readers this daughter of God as well. So, please let me introduce you to Jewel Adams: wife, mother and author.
Candace: Jewel, you have made it very well known to one and all that you did not grow up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and that your circumstances were a little less than ideal. I happen to know you are a fantastic woman and someone I feel privileged to call my friend. But will you please share a little bit about your beginnings and what brought you to the Church in the first place?
Jewel: Well, I was born and raised in Asheville, NC. I lived in an abusive home and watched my mother be abused on a daily basis. I was a pretty messed up kid emotionally and because of this, I made some pretty poor choices. True, I had a painful childhood, but in the end, the choices I soon began to make were mine.
I made the dumb decision of getting married when I was 16 to a guy I didn’t love. I did it to escape the prison I called home because I was tired of taking care of an alcoholic mother. In truth, I just traded one prison for another. Two years later, Isaiah, the guy I married, went swimming and drowned. At 18 I was a widow and because of his life insurance, I had more money than I knew what to do with.
Having been raised poor, suddenly having that much money was not a good thing. That money helped to fuel a newly developing drug and alcohol addiction. It helped to numb all the pain that I couldn’t seem to forget.
Then I married another man I didn’t love (we only had drugs and alcohol in common). It was also at this time that I met my first set of missionaries. Of course a couple of minutes into the discussion they knew I was too wasted for them to get anywhere with me.
Two years later after family and friends had bled me dry and I was again living in a housing project but now was a mother of two babies, I was humbled enough for the Lord to send another set of missionaries and this time I listened, and I immediately knew what they were telling me was true. Despite an ongoing battle with substance abuse I was baptized. Because drugs and alcohol were the only thing we had in common, my marriage ended. I finally became clean and sober, married my amazing husband in the St. George Temple, moved to Utah permanently, and never looked back.
But thinking back on it, I think I was a Mormon as a child and just didn’t know it, I mean while all my friends idolized the Jackson 5, The Sylvers, and Marvin Gaye, I idolized The Osmonds. I had a poster of Donny on my wall and his face was on my notebook. Of course everyone thought I was out of my mind, but I didn’t care.
Candace: You are one of the least “woe is me” people I have ever had the blessing of meeting. With the recent Church celebration of the Lord’s revelation to President Spencer W. Kimball in 1978 that all “worthy male members of the Church may now hold the priesthood,” there has been much excitement and rumor abounding amongst the members of the Church. You’ve told me about your family, friends and co-workers’ opinions when you joined the Mormon Church. Will you please share those experiences and your responses to them?
Jewel: Growing up we didn’t go to church on a regular basis, but my mother did tell us about God and taught us to pray. When she finally escape her brutal marriage and we moved from Charlotte back to our home town of Asheville, my brother and I started attending church with my grandparents. They were staunch Baptists and their church rocked out every Sunday morning and evening. My grandparents wanted us to be baptized, but for some reason I refused.
Later when I joined the Mormon church I got a lot of flack from family and so-called friends. They gave me a hard time for joining what they considered a racist church. I told them the Church wasn’t racist. Then my manager at work asked me why the blacks had to wait so long to hold the priesthood. The answer quickly came to me. I said that neither the blacks or whites were ready for such a change before then and that a change of that magnitude would have torn the Church apart. It’s something I’ve never even questioned. There is a time for everything and God knows when that time is. He is perfect and He doesn’t make mistakes.
Candace: As an author, you have recently released a book which is a thinly veiled, yet wonderful, parable of premortality and mortality. As many know, Mormons believe we did not begin with birth, nor do we end with death. Would you please share your opinion and knowledge of how our Heavenly Father looks upon all of His children regardless of race, color or creed?
Jewel: First, I have to say that there is another author named Jewel Adams and her writing is kind of on the naughty side. That’s why I’m now going by J.Adams.
One of the things my mother taught us was not to ever see color, even though she was raised in an age of extreme racism. I’m sure that was a trait she brought with her to this life. I think Heavenly Father is color blind as well. I know each race has certain trials that may come because of their race, but like all other trials, I think what’s most important is how we deal with those trials, and how we let them affect us.
Candace: Would you please share with us what it is like being a black Mormon?
Jewel: When I first moved to Utah people actually went out of their way to show me they weren’t racist to the point that I would think, “Whoa, back up a little. I know you’re okay with me.” But truthfully, I love living in Utah among so many saints. I’ve never had a problem with cultural differences and no one has ever had a problem with mine. I’ve never had a problem with racism in the Church, and as far as I know, neither have my children. I have made so many friends in the Church, people who support me and love me unconditionally. My patriarchal blessing says that my “ability to make friends is a precious talent to be cultivated.” How grateful I am for that.
Candace: To those who would say The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a racist church, how would you respond?
Jewel: I would say nothing could be further from the truth. Our church is filled with diversity and all are welcome, no matter your race, creed or color. We are all God’s children and we are all the same in His eyes. I’d also invite them to come and play church ball or attend a ward pot luck. Good food always brings everyone together.
Candace: What advice do you have other blacks investigating the Church?
Jewel: Put all thoughts of race and things of the past aside and open your heart so the Lord can do His work in it. And if you do have concerns, pray about them, but remember, it’s all about the gospel and nothing else.
Candace: I am a firm believer in celebrating that which is good and what we all have in common. Can you tell me why we should forget the hurts of the past and concentrate on the present and future?
Jewel: Concentrating on the hurts of the past can do nothing but bring us down. I’m a firm believer in showing gratitude for all things and living in the here and now. When I pray, I try to always remember to thank God for both the joys and the sorrows, including the sorrows of the past. I don’t know if my ancestors came from Africa, Fiji, or Jamaica, but I’m sure they were most likely slaves and were likely treated badly. But how grateful I am for what they went through. It is because of them that I am here in this free land, living this amazing life. Their time has passed, but my time is now, and I will not use this time thinking bitter thoughts. They would not want that.
Candace: What advice do you have for those seeking to find Jesus Christ and His Gospel?
Jewel: Just pray with an open heart, then listen with an open mind and ears, and He will come. And definitely welcome those missionaries.
Candace: Would you please leave your testimony with us?
Jewel: Looking back on my life and the person I was, I almost feel like I’m looking at someone else’s life, like I’ve lived two lives. How grateful I am to the Lord for rescuing me when He did. By rights I should be dead, but God had other plans, and if someone would have told me when I was 18 that I would one day be a Mormon, married and living in Utah, a mother of 8 children, and writing books, I would have offered that person a drink because they would have needed it more than me. But, as I said, God had bigger plans for me than I had for myself.
With all my heart and soul I know this gospel is true and I will be eternally grateful to the Lord for never giving up on me. I’m grateful for Jesus Christ and His atoning sacrifice. Because of it, I was able to leave the old life behind and accept the one I have now, the one He prepared for me from the beginning. And though I know I’ll never be perfect in this life, God has given me the gift of knowing that everyday is a day of grace as long as He is in it.
And there ends the interview with Jewel Adams. Much has been said of late of why African Americans join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Jewel has always been frank and straightforward in responding to people who ask this question. Once again, this morning she addressed this issue on an email list we both belong to. I asked her if she’d be willing to be interviewed for LDSBlogs.com and she was very gracious in saying yes. I hope you enjoyed this woman who has lived through so much to come out into the light of Jesus Christ. She is a friend who I would stand with at all times.
We Increase Our Testimonies of Jesus Christ Through Prayer and Scripture Study
Filed under: Discussion of General Relief Society Meetings, Self-Worth
As stated in the Relief Society Declaration the Women of the Relief Society of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, “increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ through prayer and scripture study.”
Joseph Smith read a verse of scripture, James 1:5, that led him to pray and seek guidance, and that scripture is in the Bible. That scripture is to “anyone.” I am “anyone.” When I was seeking in my youth and looking for a church to belong to, the idea that I could receive my own answers directly from the Lord, appealed to me. I had learned from reading in the Book of Acts, in the New Testament that “God was no respecter of persons.” I did not need to be a missionary or a minister to pray and study the scriptures. As I prayed and received answers and impressions that guided me, my testimony in Jesus Christ grew. As I studied the scriptures and applied the knowledge and spiritual promptings I received from studying the scriptures, my testimony in Jesus Christ grew.
Through scripture study I have learned many things about prayer and these things draw me closer to Christ and build my testimony in Him. First, I learned to pray a sincere prayer and not a memorized one, or “vain repetitions.” Then I learned to “pray without ceasing.” I do pray often and I discovered that I can carry a prayer in my heart by memorizing hymns, which is not “vain” repetition if I am sincere. Of course, the scripture speaks of the “song of the righteous,” and this helps me remember to choose the right way and follow Jesus, which, as He says that if I will do His will, I will know whether it is of Him or His Father. His will is that I follow Him. If I am sick, I know I can call the Elders and seek a blessing, which is administered through a prayer over me and the laying on of hands. I have done this as often as I have had needed. Every Sunday, in Sacrament Meeting, my heart joins in prayer as the prayers (found in Moroni 4 and Moroni 5)are offered over the sacrament. Each of these kinds of prayers have strengthened my testimony in Jesus Christ.
I have studied scriptures in many ways. In Sunday School we study the scriptures in a four-year rotation, going through: The King James Bible (for two years,both Old and New Testaments), the The Book of Mormon (for one year), and The Doctrine and Covenants (for one year). There are times I have studied the scriptures sequentially, reading each day picking up where I left off the day before, always seeking to know what God desires that I learn, from my reading that day. There are times I went through the Topical Guide or Bible Dictionary and read things by topic, following a thread and looking up cross references. I always try to remember that it is more important to get the scriptures through me, rather than for me to get through the scriptures. If I approach reading the scriptures with an attitude and prayer to find what the Lord has for me, my testimony of Jesus Christ is strengthened, and I feel His watch-care and love for me.
Our Lives Have Meaning, Purpose, and Direction
Filed under: Discussion of Relief Society Lessons, Home and Family, Self-Worth, Teaching Children the Gospel, Teaching our Daughters
As daughters of God, “our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction”. (Relief Society Declaration) God loves all of us, His spirit daughters, and has a plan for our lives, a plan of happiness, also known as the plan of salvation.
“Questions like, Where did we come from? Why are we here? and Where are we going? are answered in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Prophets have called it the plan of salvation and “the great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8). Through inspiration we can understand this road map of eternity and use it to guide our path in mortality.” Dallin H. Oaks, “‘The Great Plan of Happiness’,” Ensign, Nov 1993, 72
Though this Plan of Happiness is a road map for eternity, there is plenty of room for the individual variety of talents, gifts, and strengths of each of God’s children. Why? Though there are certain signposts which are elements that the road map provides for God’s children, these things do not make us cookie cutter Saints. Each of us is different, just like vehicles on any road will be.
Women are essential to God’s plan of happiness and have a sacred and unique role in this plan of salvation, to bear and nurture the souls of men. Only women have been given the capacity to bear children. This is a sacred trust. I marvel that God trusts us with such vital tasks. The children that women bear are spirit sons and daughters of God.
“Motherhood thus becomes a holy calling, a sacred dedication for carrying out the Lord’s plans, a consecration of devotion to the uprearing and fostering, the nurturing in body, mind, and spirit, of those who kept their first estate and who come to this earth for their second estate ‘to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.’ (Abr. 3:25) To lead them to keep their second estate is the work of motherhood, and ‘they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever.’ ” (read by J. Reuben Clark, Jr. “General Epistle of the First Presidency to the Saints in Every Land, October 3, 1942)
So, we see that motherhood helps fulfill God’s purposes in bringing to past the immortality of man. God blessed women with special gifts to bear and nurture children. I find it interesting that we refer to the marriage ceremony as holy matrimony. The word matrimony comes from the Latin “mater” meaning mother, and -monium which is a Latin suffix, meaning or signifying “the state or condition.” So, Holy Matrimony quite literally means sacred, or set apart for motherhood, which is a holy calling.
“President Gordon B. Hinckley stated that “God planted within women something divine.” That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew Cowley taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.” (Sheri L. Dew, “Are We Not All Mothers?,” Ensign, Nov 2001, 96)
As a mother of seven children and a grandmother to five grandsons, I have felt the weight of my holy calling to teach and guide my children. Yet, the knowledge that I am not alone in this task has been a boon to me. These are God’s children and I go to Him often in prayer and search the scriptures and words of the living prophets for guidance in this awesome task. I have found answers and received impressions as to what I should do. These have guided me to do the things I need to do to rear His children. I am not perfect in this. When I am not, He does not let me alone, the circumstances soon draw me to my knees, where I find peace, encouragement, and direction.
Though some women may never bear children in mortality, it is important that they understand that motherhood is not limited to bearing of children.
“Motherhood is more than bearing children… It is the essence of who we are as women… Few of us will reach our potential without the nurturing of both the mother who bore us and the mothers who bear with us.” (Sheri L. Dew, “Are We Not All Mothers?,” Ensign, Nov 2001, 96)
I have a daughter. She is single and approaching 26-years-old. She is not a mother, in the sense of having given birth. She does mother many though. She has a gift of being able to reach out to and inspire children and adults alike, by sharing stories of those who have influenced her.
One of the great sacred blessings of Church membership is to receive a Patriarchal Blessing. Often, within that blessing are further indications of the purposes that God has for you, in your life, and the unique gifts He has given you to carry out that purpose.
I watch as individual women turn to their Heavenly Father, He does help them to see and understand the meaning, purpose, and direction for a life and eternity that will lead them to everlasting joy.
This Is Who We Are
Filed under: Discussion of General Relief Society Meetings, Mother-Daughter Relationships, Self-Worth, Teaching our Daughters
Who are the women of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and what do they believe about womanhood? I feel that Mary Ellen Smoot, President of the Relief Society, answered these very questions when she introduced the world and the women of the Church to the Relief Society Declaration in a General Relief Society Broadcast held 25 September, 1999. This declaration was in response to “inquiries from outside the Church, and to remind ourselves, the women of the LDS Church, of the grand blessings of womanhood.” I feel that this is a great place to start blogging about women and women’s issues in the LDS Church.
Relief Society Declaration
We are beloved spirit daughters of God,
and our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction.
As a worldwide sisterhood, we are united in our devotion to Jesus Christ,
our Savior and Exemplar.
We are women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity who:
Increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ through prayer and scripture study.
Seek spiritual strength by following the promptings of the Holy Ghost.
Dedicate ourselves to strengthening marriages, families, and homes.
Find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood.
Delight in service and good works.
Love life and learning.
Stand for truth and righteousness.
Sustain the priesthood as the authority of God on earth.
Rejoice in the blessings of the temple, understand our divine destiny,
and strive for exaltation.
Who are we? “We are beloved spirit daughters of God.” What does it mean to be a spirit daughter of God? God is the literal Father of our spirits and we were created in His image. With God as the literal Father of our spirits, we are all sisters, and that includes being sisters to all of God’s spirit sons.
One usually inherits their potential from their parents, and being daughters of God is no different. We also become daughters of God when we are born again.
“To be a daughter of God means that you are the offspring of Deity, literal descendants of a Divine Father, inheriting godly attributes and potential. To be a daughter of God also means that you have been born again, changed from a “carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness.” (James E. Faust, “What It Means to Be a Daughter of God,” Ensign, Nov 1999, 100)
and
“And the Lord said unto me: Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters;” (Mosiah 27:25)
As a daughter of God, we have within us attributes of our Divine parentage. Being creators are one of the most powerful Divine attributes we, as daughters of God, possess, In the Bible we first see Heavenly Father as our Creator.
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. (Genesis 1:1)
We, like our Father in Heaven, are creators, as well.
“We are all creators…Creation is one of the characteristics that defines God. He takes matter without form and molds it into stars, planets, and solar systems. “Worlds without number have I created,” He tells us.
Brothers and sisters, we are children of God. Shouldn’t we be about our Father’s business? Shouldn’t we be creators as well?” (Mary Ellen Smoot, “We Are Creators,” Ensign, May 2000, 64)
The question at this point is, what in this world are we creating, as individual daughters of God? What kind of homes are we creating? What kind of communities are we creating? What kind of future are we creating for ourselves and loved ones through the choices we make today? We create both by action and inaction. A choice not to act is still a choice. There is no middle ground.
“If you are unhappy, if you are feeling weary, troubled, or disillusioned, may I ask you to try something? Instead of dwelling on your troubles, focus instead on creating something remarkable, something of eternal significance. Nurture a testimony, strengthen a relationship, write a family history, go to the temple, serve.” (Mary Ellen Smoot, “We Are Creators,” Ensign, May 2000, 64)
I believe that it is within the scope of every daughter of God to live up to the Divine heritage within
each of us, and create something of impact for good.
In future posts, I will explore further the Relief Society Declaration.
True Beauty
Filed under: Mother-Daughter Relationships, Self-Worth, Teaching our Daughters
There has been a lot said recently about a certain new children’s book. Apparently the whole premise of the book is to prepare a child for their mother’s upcoming plastic surgery. At this point I become very torn. While the nurse in me agrees that children definitely need to be told and kindly taught what is going on with their mother when she undergoes any surgery, the woman in me becomes a bit discouraged. Plastic surgery is a very strange message to be sharing with children, especially when the images and focus of the book is taking a natural, wholesome woman and mother and surgically creating something “beautiful”. Is the child who loves totally and completely supposed to now judge that love based on whether or not the mother is beautiful?
I almost wonder if the woman who is being so critical of herself is perpetuating a dangerous cycle. We already have a huge problem with eating disorders and other physical manipulations as our young teens try to make themselves pretty according to the current standards. How young does a child have to be to realize that the woman who hates her own body and criticizes herself can also be looking at the child in the same way? I used to do some counseling in a teen unit for eating disorders. Do you want to know the number one stated beginning steps toward such destructive behaviors were? Watching their mothers. Whether or not the woman was anorexic herself, she was sending a very clear message to the child that weight and shape, and being able to control those things, were more important than many others. As the teen grew it became more obvious and the woman began including the child in her comparisons. Oh yes, there were many more very serious reasons why these girls were choosing to harm themselves, but the underlying cause for choosing this path rather than another was watching women they admire spend all their time focused on their waistline.
I do realize that there is a definite place in this world for the talents of plastic surgeons. Knowing many who have had to undergo mastectomies, I consider it a great blessing for them to have the option of replacing what has been lost. There are many other valid reasons a woman might contemplate this type of surgery. I don’t think a crooked nose should be one of them. I do not see the need to take what is already beautiful and unique about women and mold it into something else. The image of an ideal woman, physically, is a changeable creature. I think we have let ourselves become a little bit too gullible. The Lord’s views on what makes a woman beautiful have never changed and still today we berate and belittle God’s creation and feel that the world’s standard is the one we should be conforming to.
It’s not just some women; I would dare to say that in this day and age it is most women. I’m just as guilty as most. Most days I never think about my rather fluffy shape or limp hair. I’m too busy living life and finding joy in it. But there are plenty of other days when I’m already frustrated or too focused on myself when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, or see a candid photo of myself and think, “ugh, who is that hideous woman”? That’s simply a part of our feminine nature that draws us to beauty. We want to reflect that in ourselves. May I boldly suggest though that we need to judge our own beauty on our Heavenly Father’s view of us, not the world’s?
I’m talking about more than saying someone is “beautiful inside”, I’m talking about realizing that when we really are beautiful on the inside what we radiate outside is the most beautiful glow of all. Sure, we have flaws. This is an imperfect world. But it is still full of diversified beauty. The landscape I find beautiful, may not be the same that you appreciate, and that is how it should be. The beauty of our bodies is the same. I have never had someone come up to me and say, “thank you for helping me, but next time don’t come if you’ve got a zit on your chin.” You want to know who was thinking that as they headed out the door? Me. Because Satan did not want me to be an instrument in the Lord’s hands, He did not want me to experience a true joy that has nothing to do with whether or not my jeans fit right.
Below is the well-known poem Audrey Hepburn once quoted when asked to share her ‘beauty tips’.
“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.”
I think I’d like to see more children’s books that teach these concepts and let the plastic surgery one gather dust on the shelf.
A Mormon Makeover
A couple of years ago, I was sitting in a store and a woman walked by with her pre-teen boy. The boy obviously loved his mother and was staying close to her. They were talking about getting something for Dad. The woman didn’t seem particularly attractive to me. I would describe her as average. Yet, obviously, her son thought the world of her and somewhere she had a husband who probably adored her.
I thought of myself. I know I certainly didn’t look like a movie star. I felt rather plain myself. I probably even had peanut butter on my shirt someplace. Yet, I too, had children who loved me and whose world was centered on me. I had a husband who thought I was the most beautiful woman in the world. Even with the peanut butter.
One of Satan’s most powerful attacks on women these days seems to have to do with making them feel inadequate physically. If you can make a woman feel ugly on the outside and concentrate her efforts in making herself physically beautiful and acceptable by today’s standards, maybe you can distract her from making herself spiritually beautiful.
The truth of the matter is that even the woman you think is utterly beautiful will be able to tell you something that she doesn’t like about herself, some imperfection she has. And what is considered “beautiful” changes from culture to culture and from time to time. It’s difficult to achieve a goal based on such a subjective and changing standard.
Fortunately, we have the unchangeable gospel of Jesus Christ to use as a standard for measuring our beauty. He has given us the tools we need for an interior redesign, a spiritual makeover. Here are the steps:
1. When we look in the mirror what do we see? Do we see our blemishes and imperfections? How much time do we spend trying to hide these things and make ourselves look presentable to the world?
Instead, when we look in the mirror, we need to look for signs that we have received God’s image in our countenances (Alma 5:14). We should be able to see love, faith, and the light of Christ shining from our eyes. Our face should be aglow with the happiness in the restored gospel. If there are spiritual imperfections, instead of working to hide them, we spend time repenting until we are presentable to the Lord. On our mirrors, we could put a list of things we are grateful for that we add to every day. Or maybe it might be a list of things we are good at. If you have trouble coming up with things for that list, ask a friend or family member to start the list for you and help you get started. We must remember that we are daughters of God and the most beautiful that we can be is when we reflect His love from the inside out.
2. What are we wearing and how have we adorned ourselves? The world will tell us that we need to have the latest and most fashionable clothes. Especially if we are young or have an “acceptable” figure, society expects us to flaunt it a little–a little cleavage here, a little thigh there. And we couldn’t possibly leave the house without doing our hair and putting on our makeup!
But we know that the Lord does not like it when his daughters are “haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet…”
In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon,
The chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers,
The bonnets, and the ornaments of the legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the earrings,
The rings, and nose jewels,
The changeable suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping pins,
The glasses, and the fine linen, and the hoods, and the vails.
And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of well set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth; and burning instead of beauty. (Isaiah 3:16-24)
Our bodies are temples and we ornament them modestly, simply, and beautifully, not with gaudiness. The prophet has asked us to wear one pair of earrings only and not to pierce our bodies anywhere else. We are not to wear tattoos. It’s actually very liberating to free ourselves from the pressure and standards of the world, keeping up with the styles that change from season to season, and the expense involved in it all. Like the righteous in the time of Alma we do not need to wear costly apparel, but we can still be neat and comely (see Alma 1:27).
We also shouldn’t focus so much on the outsides of our temples that we neglect the insides. That feeling we have that we cannot leave the house without our makeup on, do we feel just as strongly about not leaving the house without our personal scripture study or personal prayer? These things are far more important than mascara and blush.
3. Another thing that women can obsess over is our weight. Most of us have a desire to be thinner. In the United States today, the media tells us that a full figure body is not desirable, nor is the pregnant body with a big, beautiful belly, and certainly not the soft and welcoming figure of a woman who has borne children! And so we walk, we run, we work out, we go to the gym, we take aerobics classes, we diet.
But I’m not sure that God cares about what our physical measurements are. He is more concerned with the size of our hearts, the generous width of our souls, the span of our hands in service, our stature when faced with trials of faith. He certainly does care about our physical bodies and our overall health. And he has given us the word of wisdom as a guide for what we should and shouldn’t put in our body for its proper functioning.
Instead of focusing on what our bodies look like when we follow the word of wisdom, the Lord tells us what our bodies will be able to do.
And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones;
And shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures;
And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint.
And I, the Lord, give unto them a promise, that the destroying angel shall pass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them… (D&C 89:18-20)
I think we as women should focus on what our bodies can do, rather than what they look like. Is your body healthy enough to grow a baby? Is your body strong enough to help a neighbor with yard work? Do you have enough energy to play with a niece or nephew or grandchild? Do you love to dance or play basketball or run? Is your mind strong enough and sharp enough for you to learn new things and think new thoughts? If we can do these wonderful things that the Lord has given us to do, then what our bodies look like is suddenly less important than Satan would like us to believe.
The most beautiful people we can be is when our hearts are filled with the love of God and it spills out in everything we do and say, in everything we touch. And having physical beauty can in no way compensate for a dark and empty soul.