Women's Issues

As daughters of God, “our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction". (Relief Society Declaration) God loves all of us, His spirit daughters, and has a plan for our lives, a plan of happiness, also known as the plan of salvation.

“Questions like, Where did we come from? Why are we here? and Where are we going? are answered in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Prophets have called it the plan of salvation and “the great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8). Through inspiration we can understand this road map of eternity and use it to guide our path in mortality.” Dallin H. Oaks, “‘The Great Plan of Happiness’,” Ensign, Nov 1993, 72

Though this Plan of Happiness is a road map for eternity, there is plenty of room for the individual variety of talents, gifts, and strengths of each of God’s children. Why? Though there are certain signposts which are elements that the road map provides for God’s children, these things do not make us cookie cutter Saints. Each of us is different, just like vehicles on any road will be.

Women are essential to God’s plan of happiness and have a sacred and unique role in this plan of salvation, to bear and nurture the souls of men. Only women have been given the capacity to bear children. This is a sacred trust. I marvel that God trusts us with such vital tasks. The children that women bear are spirit sons and daughters of God.

“Motherhood thus becomes a holy calling, a sacred dedication for carrying out the Lord’s plans, a consecration of devotion to the uprearing and fostering, the nurturing in body, mind, and spirit, of those who kept their first estate and who come to this earth for their second estate ‘to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.’ (Abr. 3:25) To lead them to keep their second estate is the work of motherhood, and ‘they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever.’ ” (read by J. Reuben Clark, Jr. "General Epistle of the First Presidency to the Saints in Every Land, October 3, 1942)

So, we see that motherhood helps fulfill God’s purposes in bringing to past the immortality of man. God blessed women with special gifts to bear and nurture children. I find it interesting that we refer to the marriage ceremony as holy matrimony. The word matrimony comes from the Latin “mater” meaning mother, and -monium which is a Latin suffix, meaning or signifying “the state or condition.” So, Holy Matrimony quite literally means sacred, or set apart for motherhood, which is a holy calling.

“President Gordon B. Hinckley stated that “God planted within women something divine.” That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew Cowley taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.” (Sheri L. Dew, “Are We Not All Mothers?,” Ensign, Nov 2001, 96)

As a mother of seven children and a grandmother to five grandsons, I have felt the weight of my holy calling to teach and guide my children. Yet, the knowledge that I am not alone in this task has been a boon to me. These are God’s children and I go to Him often in prayer and search the scriptures and words of the living prophets for guidance in this awesome task. I have found answers and received impressions as to what I should do. These have guided me to do the things I need to do to rear His children. I am not perfect in this. When I am not, He does not let me alone, the circumstances soon draw me to my knees, where I find peace, encouragement, and direction.

Though some women may never bear children in mortality, it is important that they understand that motherhood is not limited to bearing of children.

“Motherhood is more than bearing children… It is the essence of who we are as women... Few of us will reach our potential without the nurturing of both the mother who bore us and the mothers who bear with us.” (Sheri L. Dew, “Are We Not All Mothers?,” Ensign, Nov 2001, 96)

I have a daughter. She is single and approaching 26-years-old. She is not a mother, in the sense of having given birth. She does mother many though. She has a gift of being able to reach out to and inspire children and adults alike, by sharing stories of those who have influenced her.

One of the great sacred blessings of Church membership is to receive a Patriarchal Blessing. Often, within that blessing are further indications of the purposes that God has for you, in your life, and the unique gifts He has given you to carry out that purpose.

I watch as individual women turn to their Heavenly Father, He does help them to see and understand the meaning, purpose, and direction for a life and eternity that will lead them to everlasting joy.

Within the Relief Society Declaration is the statement: “As a worldwide sisterhood, we are united in our devotion to Jesus Christ, our Savior and Exemplar.” Yes, as established in a previous post, we are a world wide sisterhood, spirit daughters of our Heavenly Father. We unite in our devotion to Jesus Christ, with our brothers, to follow Christ’s example. We are most definitely Christian. Our sisterhood is not demeaned or made less valuable because we work beside God’s spirit sons in building our families and building up the kingdom of God upon the earth.

Jesus is our Savior, not any man, nor any institution, not even the arm of our own flesh can save us from the effects of the Fall. We are equal with our brothers before God, in having access to the Atonement of Christ in our lives. We are disciples of Christ.

“The following has been written about discipleship: ‘The word disciple comes from the Latin [meaning] a learner. A disciple of Christ is one who is learning to be like Christ—learning to think, to feel, and to act [like] he does. To be a true disciple, to fulfill that learning task, is the most demanding regimen known to man. No other discipline compares … in either requirements or rewards. It involves the total transformation of a person from the state of the natural man to that of [a] saint, one who loves the Lord and serves with all of his heart, might, mind, and strength’ (Chauncey C. Riddle, “Becoming a Disciple,” Ensign, Sept. 1974, 81)” as quoted by L. Tom Perry, “Discipleship,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 60–62)

Sister Virginia U. Jensen, who previously served in the General Relief Society presidency, applies discipleship directly to women:

“...the actions of righteous women ripple on and on through time and space and even generations. These righteous actions come from our understanding of the divine mission of Jesus Christ, our knowledge of the gospel plan, our obedience to eternal commandments, and our work in this, the kingdom of God on earth.” (Virginia U. Jensen, “Ripples,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 92–94)

In truth, the actions of each of us ripple on and on. Our actions and attitudes impact all around us, and the generations that follow them. This being the case, I feel it is important to consider what ripples we are sending out. I am now 53 and thankful for the righteous women I have associated with through Relief Society over the last 35 years. Their devotion to the Savior has let His life and teachings shine through them. As He is the light, they hold up. Their faith in trials has given me hope, strengthened me and reminded me where to turn when I have challenges to face.

Jesus Christ is our exemplar and shows us the way to our Heavenly Home.

“Let us follow the Son of God in all ways and in all walks of life. Let us make him our exemplar and our guide. We should at every opportunity ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” and then be more courageous to act upon the answer. We must follow Christ, in the best sense of that word. We must be about his work as he was about his Father’s.” (Howard W. Hunter, “‘What Manner of Men Ought Ye to Be?’,” Ensign, May 1994, 64)

I know I am a better person for the service that has been rendered me, just as much as by the times I was able to serve others. It is often easier to serve than to be served. In the economy of Heaven, we all get to have our turn to serve, and to be served. Sometimes, one of the hardest things we have to do is to let someone serve us. Yet, letting someone serve us, in our time of need, is a service to them. It serves them by helping them be able to follow the Savior's example. When I was bedfast for two weeks after a miscarriage, a dear sister in the ward came to cheer me, bring books to read, play Scrabble with me, and talk with me. Her cheerfulness uplifted me and diverted my mind past something I could do nothing about. Others brought in meals to help my family during this challenge. I know there were prayers offered, as well. They were doing what Jesus would have done.

Jesus invited people to follow Him.

“Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. (John 8: 12)

I am strengthened and invited to be devoted to Christ and follow His example when I go to Relief Society classes each Sunday. I feel the unity that comes by meeting together often to learn of His ways. I feel the unity and devotion of the sisters in Relief Society when my visiting teachers come each month and discuss with me the message from the General Relief Society Presidency of the Church. As these sisters do, they share experiences that have strengthened them. These sisters share insights they have gained from experience in doing what Jesus would do, and doing as He would have them do. They are united in caring for His flock and teaching by following His example.

There is a strengthening influence in this worldwide sisterhood as they are united in devotion to Jesus Christ and to follow His example, as these sisters rely on the Lord to guide them to do things in wisdom and order, as they serve and let themselves be served by their sisters in Relief Society.

This is not all. I watch as their hands and hearts are extended beyond their homes and sisterhood. I see this as they gather together to make quilts, loom hats, make leper bandages, host a blood drive, assist with a neighborhood cleanup, and more. They live busy lives and yet they find time to think beyond themselves, do as Jesus would do, love and serve one another. I feel this is because they are united in their devotion to Christ and strengthened through the living example of His love working through this worldwide sisterhood.

Go on, admit it. Every mother’s been there. It’s what we do every single day of our lives. We are faced with this huge task of taking a totally dependent little bundle of joy from point A to point B (where they are a happy, productive adult member of society). Subconsciously, we just know we are failing. Subliminally, we recognize that we’re just making things more difficult for ourselves. Yet, we can’t seem to force ourselves to do things differently. We cling to the silliest things, and let go of some of the most practical. We secretly idolize our own mothers (whether we hate them or not) because they did manage to make it to point B, but we have no real idea how they did it. We openly fear exposure of our inadequacies and keep on going as if we know exactly where we are headed and what we are doing.

There is so much information available to us as mothers. Information that tells us: just what to expect, when to expect it, where to take our children on vacation, why we shouldn’t feed them red dyes, reasons to co-sleep and reasons not to co-sleep. We are completely informed, and completely helpless. Surely, we can’t be considered good mothers if we aren’t reading to our children for at least 30 minutes every day, or let our 1-year-old watch television while we take a shower. Shall I continue?

For my own part, I think I have figured out at least one thing. It’s all about love. I love my children so much that I’m almost desperate to make sure I don’t inadvertently mess up their entire lives. The key is that love. I need to remember that love, stuff, activities and bedtime stories are different. Maybe all I really need to get to point B is simply love. Love the way my child understands it, rather than the way I think they should understand it.

Perhaps the places we need to look are really simplistic in nature.

James E. Faust gives some beautiful advice for mothers. His advice?

“May I suggest that you take your challenges one day at a time. Do the best you can. Look at everything through the lens of eternity. If you will do this, life will take on a different perspective.”

James E. Faust, “Instruments in the Hands of God,” Ensign, Nov 2005, 114

Then, we can get a little more specific.

“It is my prayer that the Spirit will burn within you, that you will have a greater desire to strengthen your family now and prepare for your future family. The scriptures are filled with ways to teach us how to strengthen our families. There is no greater teacher than the Savior. As you study His teachings and follow His example, you can make your family life better. Let’s talk about three principles that will help you strengthen your home and family:

• Nurturing
• Sacrifice
• Prayer

To nurture means to support each other, to encourage each other, to nourish and love each other. Are we doing this in our families?

The Savior Himself taught us to nurture. Many times He said, “How oft have I gathered you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and have nourished you” (3 Ne. 10:4).

The Savior is so proud of you. He knows what you’re going through. He understands how hard it is for you to make sacrifices. The Savior taught us to sacrifice. He sacrificed His life for all mankind.

As you help strengthen your family, prayer must be a consistent, daily part of your life. Prayer will protect you from the adversary, give you peace, and help your families love each other more.

How can you use prayer to strengthen your family? Because Heavenly Father loves you so, He wants you to talk to Him. Whatever struggles you may have, you can pray about anything. . .

Pray over problems that worry you! Don’t give up. Heavenly Father can and will answer your prayers. I have had many prayers that have been answered. I also have prayers that have not been answered yet. Our prayers will be answered in the Lord’s time when we are ready.”

Carol B. Thomas, “Strengthen Home and Family,” Ensign, May 2002, 94

A mother’s love is desperate and eternal. We face such a great challenge trying to raise our children up to their full potential. It’s often overwhelming and sometimes discouraging, but you are not left alone. Look to the simplest part of your love, the core at the very center of your heart that mirror’s God’s own love for you. Draw from the strength that can give and focus on the basics.

Take it one day at a time, with:
Faith
Nurturing
Sacrifice, and
Prayer

During the time that the adults are in Sunday School and Relief Society (for women) or Priesthood (for men), children over 18 months old will be in their own classes. Children 18 months to 3 years participate in Nursery. This classroom will have a few to several teachers serving there (depending on the size of the nursery). There are books, toys, games and puzzles available for the children to play with. They may play games like "duck, duck, goose" or "ring around the rosies" or they might have bubbles to blow and soft music to listen to. There will be music time, where the children will learn fun songs and songs with a gospel theme. There will be a lesson that one of the nursery leaders has prayerfully prepared that will hopefully engage their attention. Often times, the children have a chance to draw pictures as part of the lesson or as a separate activity. And best of all, there is a snack time. It may be something like crackers or cheese or apple slices or fruit snacks. The nursery children universally love snack time!

During the time your child is in nursery, if he is inconsolably crying for an extended period of time, he will probably be brought back to you. Also, if your child needs a diaper change, he will brought to you. When he has a clean diaper, he will be ready to go back to nursery. When you are done with your classes, you go back to the nursery room and pick up your child.

Older children (ages 3-11) will participate in Primary. Primary is divided into two blocks—Sharing Time and Sunday School. Depending on the ward and the age of your child, he may have either block first. During Sharing Time, the children meet together in the Primary Room with the Primary Presidency (a president, her two counselors, and a secretary). When they enter the room, the pianist may be playing soft prelude music or the children might be encouraged to sing or hum while they wait for the meeting to begin. They sit in groups with children their own age and their Primary teacher. Children who will be participating in the meeting may be seated at the front of the room.

When all the children are there and it is time for the meeting to begin, there will be an opening song, usually chosen from the Children’s Songbook. Then the child who had been asked to give the opening prayer will step up to the microphone at the podium (if available) to say the prayer. After the prayer, another child who had been asked will say the scripture theme for that month. The theme for December is:

Jesus Christ once lived on the earth, and I have faith that He will come again. “This same Jesus, which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven” (Acts 1:11).

After the theme, the child who has prepared a talk on that theme will present it. Many times, a parent will come in and help the child to read or just be there for moral support.

Then there may be all sorts of fun things. They will celebrate a child’s birthday by singing a birthday song and perhaps presenting him with a small gift. They will greet any new or visiting children by having them come to the front of the room so the rest of the children can sing a welcome song to them. They may take a minute for children to share anything interesting that happened to them that week. A member of the bishopric might come in to share a brief lesson or thought with the children.

There will be a Sharing time which is instruction by one of the primary presidency or one of the primary teachers (or an entire class of children) that involve all the children. It might be a game or a story that teaches a gospel principle. Often, the children will be asked to participate by coming up and holding visual aids or answering questions. There will also be Music Time where the children learn the songs they will be performing for Sacrament Meeting towards the end of the calendar year. These songs are taught through a lot of repetition, games, and visual aids.

The other part of the time spent in Primary will be in a Sunday School type setting with just the children who have birthdays in their same calendar year. This class will usually begin with a teacher calling upon one of the children to offer an opening prayer. Then the teacher will give the lesson that he or she has prayerfully prepared that week. Depending on the age of your child, the lesson will be taken from one of the manuals listed on this page under “Related Lesson Materials.” At the close of the lesson, the teacher may call upon another child to offer the closing prayer.

So many people today are disenchanted with the commercialization of Christmas, the predominance of Santa and the relative absence of Jesus Christ, the overspending and the focus on materialism and gift-getting. But I'd like to take a moment and share with you how the "spirit of Christmas" really is the spirit of Christ and the importance that Christmas carols played in my life.

I grew up in a non-religious household. We did not attend church, except for a brief stint when I was ten, and even then I mostly worked in the nursery and never listened to the sermons or went to Sunday School. We did not talk about religion or God, although I knew that my mother believed He existed. We did not pray, not even at mealtimes, nor was I taught how or when to pray. We did not discuss Jesus Christ or His divinity, His attributes or His mission.

We never talked of Heaven or Hell. My mom was a very tolerant, loving, and accepting person and believed that all people were mostly good and I had the vague impression that after death, we would all live in a nebulous state of happiness. As a result of these ideas, my home was not a home where moral standards were set or right and wrong were taught.

Until I was 16 (when I began talking to the Mormon missionaries), the only knowledge I had of the gospel of Jesus Christ was through Christmas carols. Silent Night taught me that Mary was a virgin at Jesus' birth and how the shepherd's came and heavenly hosts sang.

Once in Royal David's City taught me that Jesus was born in a lowly stable.

Angels We Have Heard on High and Hark the Herald Angels Sing taught me that angels came to the shepherds to bring the gladsome tidings of His birth and that the Shepherds rejoiced and went to Bethlehem to see the Babe.

Away in a Manger and O Come All Ye Faithful taught me that Jesus Christ was God and yet was making his appearance in mortality with a body of flesh.

With Wondering Awe tells the story of the wise men following the star to come and adore the Christ child.

And Joy to the World and O Holy Night describe the purpose for all this rejoicing. Christ is born to take away the sins of men.

In addition to learning the gospel through these songs, I came to understood that all people who call themselves Christians believe these things and rejoice in them. And because these songs were sung over and over again all season long, I had them committed to memory just like almost every other child. For the formative years of my life, the Christmas carols were the only form of scripture study I had, but I had memorized them all and loved them and proclaimed my belief in the Savior each time I sang and was strengthened in that testimony every time I heard someone else sing.

And all the Christmas movies that focus on being together with families or Christmas miracles, even if they aren't obviously teaching religious principles, still touched my heart with the Spirit of Christ. Whenever I would tear up at the beauty of a Christmas miracle or service anonymous given to someone in need, it was the Holy Ghost affirming to me that this is what Christ would do. I knew that those wonderful, soft, warm, happy feelings I felt were somehow related to Jesus Christ.

In his talk, "The Power of Hymns," Merrill J. Bateman lists some of the roles of church music. It acts as a form of worship, builds unity and a community of saints, teaches doctrine, and facilitates the bearing of testimony. This was my personal experience with the Christmas carols, the only form of religious instruction I had as a child. It was very powerful for me and because of that, I try to include hymns in our home as often as possible.

In addition to listening to the radio stations that play only Christmas music this time of year, or listening to our own private music collections, the LDS Church has a wonderful tool available for home use. It's an interactive music player where you can see the words and music and control the parts, tempo and key or just print it out. You can also just download spiritually uplifting songs here for free.