Women's Issues

As women of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), we are dedicated to "strengthening marriages, families, and homes." We live in a day when more than 50% of marriages in our country fail, dividing families, and wrecking homes. Latter-day Saint women are not left to their own devices, or the offerings of a crumbling culture, to fortify the marriage, family, and home. We have a prophet and God uses him to help us strengthen our marriages, families, and homes. We also have the Holy Ghost to help us apply this general counsel to our specific family's needs.

I have been working on my Master's Degree in Education. A few days ago, a friend asked about my thesis/project. I shared that as a society, parents have pushed their children into education, with little thought of teaching them how to build a happy marriage, manage family, and home. Education is important, but not to the exclusion of home and family. The result has been high divorce rates, broken homes, and dysfunctional families. Many fathers do not seem to know how to be fathers, many mothers do not seem to know how to be mothers, most struggle with debt, and few know how to maintain a home. I became LDS when I was a senior in high school, and had been raised in a home broken by divorce. The woman I was talking to is a divorcee. She said that her son needed a man in his life to help teach him how to be a man. Then she asked, "Donna, what is the solution?" Though my thesis deals primarily with the lost arts and relationships that were once nurtured in the home, I feel the best solution is found in gospel living.

Where can a person learn what they need to be a better spouse and parent, especially if they were never taught? Some of the resources the Lord has blessed us with are:

The Scriptures teach about healthy family relationships and standards of gospel living, and when the counsel found in scriptures are heeded, bring happiness into our lives.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches us principles of happy families.

General, Stake, and Ward Conferences are where we are taught standards of gospel living and we receive counsel for families, marriages, and relationships.

Relief Society and Young Women’s organizations help women strengthen testimonies through gospel teaching and teach women how to be good daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, and neighbors, as well as, skills that can help us with home, family, personal enrichment, and with provident living.

Visiting Teaching is a way to strengthen each other as women and give encouragement to women in their roles as sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, and neighbors.

The Priesthood and Young Men's organizations teach men how to administer the temporal affairs of the God’s Kingdom on earth, and how to be good sons, brothers, husbands, fathers, and neighbors.

Home Teachers can be a great blessing to single mothers, widows, families, and individual women. They teach, assist, and bless.

The Primary organization reinforces the teachings of the home and helps children be better, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, and neighbors.

The home is the schoolroom and laboratory where these core values and skills are learned and refined. The Lord has provided families with additional helps:

The Family Guidebook teaches parents principles of establishing a happy home.

A Parent’s Guide helps parents understand good parenting practices.

The Family Home Evening Resource Manual is an excellent resource for families to use to teach gospel principles in the home, in weekly family home evenings.

With all of these wonderful examples and resources, I feel God’s love and guidance in my life and I feel strengthened and guided to be a better mother.

Women of the Relief Society organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, "are women of faith, virtue, vision and charity," as stated in the Relief Society Declaration.

"A woman of faith trusts God and faces adversity with hope." (Margaret D. Nadauld, “A Woman of Faith,” Ensign, Nov 2002, 73) I have been strengthened by the women of faith in my ward. These women pray for each other and nurture each other through visiting teaching and friendships.

I have a neighbor, Laverne who lost her husband ten years ago, to multiple cancers. Soon after his death she discovered that she suffers from leukemia. Each Sunday she sits in the choir seats, where the congregation can see she is still here. Over the course of her leukemia she has been on the hospice home care twice, which usually means you are in your last six months, yet she still lives. Yet, this woman continues to attend church and the temple regularly. She has shown up at my door with lovely roses that she had nurtured in her own yard. She is aware of everyone’s struggles. In lean times for us, she has climbed the stairs to our front door and brought us a Stouffer’s lasagna, to freeze and eat later. Laverne is a woman of faith, virtue, and charity, as she continues to serve and help others, even though she suffers.

My neighbor, Jackie, was dying of breast cancer and still had children in the home. She still continued to serve in her calling and attend the temple. Her children were in high school and junior high. Many women of the Relief Society took meals in, visited her to encourage her, and assist her with care for her home and family. She faced her trail with faith and vision, working to prepare her family for her death, knowing they would be together again in the resurrection.

Recently, a friend's husband, Alvin, was in need of a kidney, had been on dialysis for a few years and had a donor fall through. A young mother in our neighborhood, Tara, felt the promptings of the spirit to offer her kidney. Doctors found that she was a match and six weeks ago she gave her kidney to Alvin. This was a great act of charity for this very young woman of faith. She had vision, in exercising her faith that this man would be made whole.

These women, those they served, and those that served them, have strengthened me by their example of faith, virtue, vision, and charity over the years. As a result, I have had faith and vision to overcome adversity, have found ways to exercise charity, and have been inspired to be more virtuous.

As stated in the Relief Society Declaration the Women of the Relief Society of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, "increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ through prayer and scripture study."

Joseph Smith read a verse of scripture, James 1:5, that led him to pray and seek guidance, and that scripture is in the Bible. That scripture is to "anyone." I am "anyone." When I was seeking in my youth and looking for a church to belong to, the idea that I could receive my own answers directly from the Lord, appealed to me. I had learned from reading in the Book of Acts, in the New Testament that "God was no respecter of persons." I did not need to be a missionary or a minister to pray and study the scriptures. As I prayed and received answers and impressions that guided me, my testimony in Jesus Christ grew. As I studied the scriptures and applied the knowledge and spiritual promptings I received from studying the scriptures, my testimony in Jesus Christ grew.

Through scripture study I have learned many things about prayer and these things draw me closer to Christ and build my testimony in Him. First, I learned to pray a sincere prayer and not a memorized one, or "vain repetitions." Then I learned to "pray without ceasing." I do pray often and I discovered that I can carry a prayer in my heart by memorizing hymns, which is not "vain" repetition if I am sincere. Of course, the scripture speaks of the "song of the righteous," and this helps me remember to choose the right way and follow Jesus, which, as He says that if I will do His will, I will know whether it is of Him or His Father. His will is that I follow Him. If I am sick, I know I can call the Elders and seek a blessing, which is administered through a prayer over me and the laying on of hands. I have done this as often as I have had needed. Every Sunday, in Sacrament Meeting, my heart joins in prayer as the prayers (found in Moroni 4 and Moroni 5)are offered over the sacrament. Each of these kinds of prayers have strengthened my testimony in Jesus Christ.

I have studied scriptures in many ways. In Sunday School we study the scriptures in a four-year rotation, going through: The King James Bible (for two years,both Old and New Testaments), the The Book of Mormon (for one year), and The Doctrine and Covenants (for one year). There are times I have studied the scriptures sequentially, reading each day picking up where I left off the day before, always seeking to know what God desires that I learn, from my reading that day. There are times I went through the Topical Guide or Bible Dictionary and read things by topic, following a thread and looking up cross references. I always try to remember that it is more important to get the scriptures through me, rather than for me to get through the scriptures. If I approach reading the scriptures with an attitude and prayer to find what the Lord has for me, my testimony of Jesus Christ is strengthened, and I feel His watch-care and love for me.

Within the Relief Society Declaration is the statement: “As a worldwide sisterhood, we are united in our devotion to Jesus Christ, our Savior and Exemplar.” Yes, as established in a previous post, we are a world wide sisterhood, spirit daughters of our Heavenly Father. We unite in our devotion to Jesus Christ, with our brothers, to follow Christ’s example. We are most definitely Christian. Our sisterhood is not demeaned or made less valuable because we work beside God’s spirit sons in building our families and building up the kingdom of God upon the earth.

Jesus is our Savior, not any man, nor any institution, not even the arm of our own flesh can save us from the effects of the Fall. We are equal with our brothers before God, in having access to the Atonement of Christ in our lives. We are disciples of Christ.

“The following has been written about discipleship: ‘The word disciple comes from the Latin [meaning] a learner. A disciple of Christ is one who is learning to be like Christ—learning to think, to feel, and to act [like] he does. To be a true disciple, to fulfill that learning task, is the most demanding regimen known to man. No other discipline compares … in either requirements or rewards. It involves the total transformation of a person from the state of the natural man to that of [a] saint, one who loves the Lord and serves with all of his heart, might, mind, and strength’ (Chauncey C. Riddle, “Becoming a Disciple,” Ensign, Sept. 1974, 81)” as quoted by L. Tom Perry, “Discipleship,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 60–62)

Sister Virginia U. Jensen, who previously served in the General Relief Society presidency, applies discipleship directly to women:

“...the actions of righteous women ripple on and on through time and space and even generations. These righteous actions come from our understanding of the divine mission of Jesus Christ, our knowledge of the gospel plan, our obedience to eternal commandments, and our work in this, the kingdom of God on earth.” (Virginia U. Jensen, “Ripples,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 92–94)

In truth, the actions of each of us ripple on and on. Our actions and attitudes impact all around us, and the generations that follow them. This being the case, I feel it is important to consider what ripples we are sending out. I am now 53 and thankful for the righteous women I have associated with through Relief Society over the last 35 years. Their devotion to the Savior has let His life and teachings shine through them. As He is the light, they hold up. Their faith in trials has given me hope, strengthened me and reminded me where to turn when I have challenges to face.

Jesus Christ is our exemplar and shows us the way to our Heavenly Home.

“Let us follow the Son of God in all ways and in all walks of life. Let us make him our exemplar and our guide. We should at every opportunity ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” and then be more courageous to act upon the answer. We must follow Christ, in the best sense of that word. We must be about his work as he was about his Father’s.” (Howard W. Hunter, “‘What Manner of Men Ought Ye to Be?’,” Ensign, May 1994, 64)

I know I am a better person for the service that has been rendered me, just as much as by the times I was able to serve others. It is often easier to serve than to be served. In the economy of Heaven, we all get to have our turn to serve, and to be served. Sometimes, one of the hardest things we have to do is to let someone serve us. Yet, letting someone serve us, in our time of need, is a service to them. It serves them by helping them be able to follow the Savior's example. When I was bedfast for two weeks after a miscarriage, a dear sister in the ward came to cheer me, bring books to read, play Scrabble with me, and talk with me. Her cheerfulness uplifted me and diverted my mind past something I could do nothing about. Others brought in meals to help my family during this challenge. I know there were prayers offered, as well. They were doing what Jesus would have done.

Jesus invited people to follow Him.

“Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. (John 8: 12)

I am strengthened and invited to be devoted to Christ and follow His example when I go to Relief Society classes each Sunday. I feel the unity that comes by meeting together often to learn of His ways. I feel the unity and devotion of the sisters in Relief Society when my visiting teachers come each month and discuss with me the message from the General Relief Society Presidency of the Church. As these sisters do, they share experiences that have strengthened them. These sisters share insights they have gained from experience in doing what Jesus would do, and doing as He would have them do. They are united in caring for His flock and teaching by following His example.

There is a strengthening influence in this worldwide sisterhood as they are united in devotion to Jesus Christ and to follow His example, as these sisters rely on the Lord to guide them to do things in wisdom and order, as they serve and let themselves be served by their sisters in Relief Society.

This is not all. I watch as their hands and hearts are extended beyond their homes and sisterhood. I see this as they gather together to make quilts, loom hats, make leper bandages, host a blood drive, assist with a neighborhood cleanup, and more. They live busy lives and yet they find time to think beyond themselves, do as Jesus would do, love and serve one another. I feel this is because they are united in their devotion to Christ and strengthened through the living example of His love working through this worldwide sisterhood.

Who are the women of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and what do they believe about womanhood? I feel that Mary Ellen Smoot, President of the Relief Society, answered these very questions when she introduced the world and the women of the Church to the Relief Society Declaration in a General Relief Society Broadcast held 25 September, 1999. This declaration was in response to “inquiries from outside the Church, and to remind ourselves, the women of the LDS Church, of the grand blessings of womanhood.” I feel that this is a great place to start blogging about women and women’s issues in the LDS Church.

Who are we? “We are beloved spirit daughters of God.” What does it mean to be a spirit daughter of God? God is the literal Father of our spirits and we were created in His image. With God as the literal Father of our spirits, we are all sisters, and that includes being sisters to all of God’s spirit sons.

One usually inherits their potential from their parents, and being daughters of God is no different. We also become daughters of God when we are born again.

“To be a daughter of God means that you are the offspring of Deity, literal descendants of a Divine Father, inheriting godly attributes and potential. To be a daughter of God also means that you have been born again, changed from a “carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness.” (James E. Faust, “What It Means to Be a Daughter of God,” Ensign, Nov 1999, 100)

and

“And the Lord said unto me: Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters;” (Mosiah 27:25)

As a daughter of God, we have within us attributes of our Divine parentage. Being creators are one of the most powerful Divine attributes we, as daughters of God, possess, In the Bible we first see Heavenly Father as our Creator.

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. (Genesis 1:1)

We, like our Father in Heaven, are creators, as well.

“We are all creators...Creation is one of the characteristics that defines God. He takes matter without form and molds it into stars, planets, and solar systems. “Worlds without number have I created,” He tells us.

Brothers and sisters, we are children of God. Shouldn’t we be about our Father’s business? Shouldn’t we be creators as well?” (Mary Ellen Smoot, “We Are Creators,” Ensign, May 2000, 64)

The question at this point is, what in this world are we creating, as individual daughters of God? What kind of homes are we creating? What kind of communities are we creating? What kind of future are we creating for ourselves and loved ones through the choices we make today? We create both by action and inaction. A choice not to act is still a choice. There is no middle ground.

“If you are unhappy, if you are feeling weary, troubled, or disillusioned, may I ask you to try something? Instead of dwelling on your troubles, focus instead on creating something remarkable, something of eternal significance. Nurture a testimony, strengthen a relationship, write a family history, go to the temple, serve.” (Mary Ellen Smoot, “We Are Creators,” Ensign, May 2000, 64)

I believe that it is within the scope of every daughter of God to live up to the Divine heritage within
each of us, and create something of impact for good.

In future posts, I will explore further the Relief Society Declaration.

The first time I heard Sister Julie B. Beck speak as President of the Relief Society was during General Women’s Conference at the end of September. I was amazed by her bold speech and felt myself drawn into something much larger than myself. I knew that she was the woman the Lord had inspired our prophet to call to lead the women of the church for the next little while. I found myself hungry for her strong words. I wanted to do better. I knew I could do better and I was motivated to try. As one sister said to me after the conference, “I felt like she was going to raise The Title of Liberty and gather us all to it.” I felt that feeling. Like she was issuing a rally cry to the women of the church and my heart yearned to answer the call.

When I realized she was speaking at General Conference, I wondered what more she could say. Again, I heard a powerful message directed to the women of the church. I was so grateful to have such a strong leader for our beloved world-wide Relief Society.

Her talk began with the reminder that “Mothers who know” desire children. She quoted from the First Presidency, reiterating that the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth is still in effect today and quoting President Benson who said that we should not postpone our families. This sentiment stands in stark contrast to the culture of selfishness today that results in almost 1,000,000 abortions yearly in the United States alone. We remember that we are not women of the world who are not willing to make the sacrifices or bear the burdens of rearing children. But we recognize the joy and fulfillment that comes through motherhood.

She also reassures those who cannot bear children that their righteous desires and the value they place on motherhood will rise with them in the resurrection where they will be blessed accordingly. And even though mortality seems like a long time to forgo those promised blessings, she promises us that eternity is a much longer time to enjoy them.

Sister Beck continues by telling us that "Mothers who know" honor sacred ordinances and covenants. She tells the story of sisters from poor parts of the world who dress in their Sunday best and take care that their children look nice because of their understanding of the importance of the covenants that they will be renewing in the Lord’s house that day. These mothers point their children towards the temple because of the influence and power they have in their homes to make sure their children are headed towards eternal goals.

She reminds us that "mothers who know" are nurturers. We know this is one of our divine roles from the Proclamation on the Family. With home and family being so precious and sacred, she tells us that we need to create a “house of order” like the Temple where spiritual and temporal growth can abound. This will include gaining and improving homemaking skills and teaching them to our children.

We "Mothers who know" are leaders of our families and our households. We plan for the small, daily spiritual experiences within the walls of our home as well as planning for larger events such as missions, temple marriage and college educations. As leaders of eternal families, we need to be careful about where and how we spend our time. We should also be careful of worldly models of parenting that will undermine our planning.

"Mothers who know" are teachers. Sister Beck encourages us to think of our homes as pre-Missionary Training Centers. Home should be the first and foremost place where the gospel is taught. Everything else is secondary and should merely be for support and review.

"Mothers who know" do less. The world will tell us that we need to “do it all.” But Sister Beck refutes that with the simple idea that we do not have to. Nor, indeed, can we. Instead, we prioritize our time and efforts so that we give the most care to things that are most important—like spending quality time with our families and preparing them to build the Kingdom of God. We can let the rest go.

Sister Beck concludes her talk by quoting President Hinckley who has asked the women of the church to "stand strong and immovable for that which is correct and proper under the plan of the Lord" and to "begin in [our] own homes."

Once again, I felt the powerful whisperings of the Holy Ghost confirming to me that Sister Beck is the woman the Lord has called to lead the women of the church today. She is a strong, bold woman of faith and conviction. I have greatly enjoyed re-reading her talks from General Women’s Conference and General Conference. I know that if we women will listen with open hearts to her words and prayerfully ask the Lord how we can follow her inspired counsel in our homes, we will be greatly blessed.