Women's Issues

As women of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), we are dedicated to "strengthening marriages, families, and homes." We live in a day when more than 50% of marriages in our country fail, dividing families, and wrecking homes. Latter-day Saint women are not left to their own devices, or the offerings of a crumbling culture, to fortify the marriage, family, and home. We have a prophet and God uses him to help us strengthen our marriages, families, and homes. We also have the Holy Ghost to help us apply this general counsel to our specific family's needs.

I have been working on my Master's Degree in Education. A few days ago, a friend asked about my thesis/project. I shared that as a society, parents have pushed their children into education, with little thought of teaching them how to build a happy marriage, manage family, and home. Education is important, but not to the exclusion of home and family. The result has been high divorce rates, broken homes, and dysfunctional families. Many fathers do not seem to know how to be fathers, many mothers do not seem to know how to be mothers, most struggle with debt, and few know how to maintain a home. I became LDS when I was a senior in high school, and had been raised in a home broken by divorce. The woman I was talking to is a divorcee. She said that her son needed a man in his life to help teach him how to be a man. Then she asked, "Donna, what is the solution?" Though my thesis deals primarily with the lost arts and relationships that were once nurtured in the home, I feel the best solution is found in gospel living.

Where can a person learn what they need to be a better spouse and parent, especially if they were never taught? Some of the resources the Lord has blessed us with are:

The Scriptures teach about healthy family relationships and standards of gospel living, and when the counsel found in scriptures are heeded, bring happiness into our lives.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches us principles of happy families.

General, Stake, and Ward Conferences are where we are taught standards of gospel living and we receive counsel for families, marriages, and relationships.

Relief Society and Young Women’s organizations help women strengthen testimonies through gospel teaching and teach women how to be good daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, and neighbors, as well as, skills that can help us with home, family, personal enrichment, and with provident living.

Visiting Teaching is a way to strengthen each other as women and give encouragement to women in their roles as sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, and neighbors.

The Priesthood and Young Men's organizations teach men how to administer the temporal affairs of the God’s Kingdom on earth, and how to be good sons, brothers, husbands, fathers, and neighbors.

Home Teachers can be a great blessing to single mothers, widows, families, and individual women. They teach, assist, and bless.

The Primary organization reinforces the teachings of the home and helps children be better, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, and neighbors.

The home is the schoolroom and laboratory where these core values and skills are learned and refined. The Lord has provided families with additional helps:

The Family Guidebook teaches parents principles of establishing a happy home.

A Parent’s Guide helps parents understand good parenting practices.

The Family Home Evening Resource Manual is an excellent resource for families to use to teach gospel principles in the home, in weekly family home evenings.

With all of these wonderful examples and resources, I feel God’s love and guidance in my life and I feel strengthened and guided to be a better mother.

Women of the Relief Society of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can "seek spiritual strength by following the promptings of the Holy Ghost." That is right. I do not have to wait for another person to tell me what to do. Nor am I left up to my own devices. I can gain spiritual strength by following the promptings I receive from the Holy Ghost. What are promptings from the Holy Ghost? Promptings are clues, information, or knowledge that comes to my mind and heart, as to what I should do. I have also learned that as I follow those promptings, I am never sorry that I did. I am strengthened that I know I did the right thing and good things happen. There are times that I did not follow promptings and that was always accompanied with regret.

I get gentle promptings on small things as well as big things. Learning to listen on the small things helps familiarity with promptings, and makes it easier to identify promptings when they come. Small things may be inconsequential, on the surface, but they are very important. The other day I felt prompted to check my calendar about an upcoming appointment. I did not heed the promptings of the Holy Ghost. About an hour after the missed appointment I received a call asking if I wanted to reschedule. Now, the situation involved an appointment for a hair cut, nothing earth shattering. I felt sad for my stylist because she relies on paying customers. When the seat remains empty, she is still there at work but earning nothing. Immediately, I recognized that I had a prompting I did not heed. By heeding, I could have avoided the remorse I was feeling for a working mother's loss. I could have been spiritually strengthened by heeding, knowing that like the "sparrow that falls," God is mindful of me. Heeding in this small thing would have strengthened me in the future by helping grow more familiar with the promptings of the spirit.

Another word for promptings of the Holy Ghost is revelation. We can invite revelation, but it comes when the Lord is ready to give it. We cannot force it.

It is not wise to wrestle with the revelations with such insistence as to demand immediate answers or blessings to your liking. You cannot force spiritual things. You can no more force the Spirit to respond than you can force a bean to sprout, or an egg to hatch before it’s time. You can create a climate to foster growth, nourish, and protect; but you cannot force or compel: you must await the growth. (Boyd K. Packer, “The Candle of the Lord,” Ensign, Jan 1983, 51)

Our “ability to hear the voice of the Spirit is dependent upon our willingness to keep the commandments." (Mary Ellen Smoot, “We Are Instruments in the Hands of God,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 89–92) I also increase my ability to hear the voice of the Spirit by doing as the Holy Ghost prompts me. I am humbled and strengthened that God cares enough about me,as an individual that He will send me messages, via promptings from the Holy Host, to help me live and do His work. "Those promptings are a personal message from the Lord to you." Richard G. Scott, “Promptings of the Spirit,” Friend, Feb 1994, inside front cover)

Promptings can protect us.

The promptings that come to us to flee evil reflect our Heavenly Father’s understanding of our particular strengths and weaknesses and His awareness of the unforeseen circumstances of our lives. When these promptings come, they will not generally stop us in our tracks, for the Spirit of God does not speak with a voice of thunder. The voice will be as soft as a whisper, coming as a thought to our minds or a feeling in our hearts. By heeding its gentle promptings, we will be protected from the destructive consequences of sin.

But if we ignore those promptings, the light of the Spirit will fade. (Robert D. Hales, “To Act for Ourselves: The Gift and Blessings of Agency,” Ensign, May 2006, 4–8)

I am grateful for promptings of the Holy Ghost and strengthened when I heed them.

Women of the Relief Society organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, "are women of faith, virtue, vision and charity," as stated in the Relief Society Declaration.

"A woman of faith trusts God and faces adversity with hope." (Margaret D. Nadauld, “A Woman of Faith,” Ensign, Nov 2002, 73) I have been strengthened by the women of faith in my ward. These women pray for each other and nurture each other through visiting teaching and friendships.

I have a neighbor, Laverne who lost her husband ten years ago, to multiple cancers. Soon after his death she discovered that she suffers from leukemia. Each Sunday she sits in the choir seats, where the congregation can see she is still here. Over the course of her leukemia she has been on the hospice home care twice, which usually means you are in your last six months, yet she still lives. Yet, this woman continues to attend church and the temple regularly. She has shown up at my door with lovely roses that she had nurtured in her own yard. She is aware of everyone’s struggles. In lean times for us, she has climbed the stairs to our front door and brought us a Stouffer’s lasagna, to freeze and eat later. Laverne is a woman of faith, virtue, and charity, as she continues to serve and help others, even though she suffers.

My neighbor, Jackie, was dying of breast cancer and still had children in the home. She still continued to serve in her calling and attend the temple. Her children were in high school and junior high. Many women of the Relief Society took meals in, visited her to encourage her, and assist her with care for her home and family. She faced her trail with faith and vision, working to prepare her family for her death, knowing they would be together again in the resurrection.

Recently, a friend's husband, Alvin, was in need of a kidney, had been on dialysis for a few years and had a donor fall through. A young mother in our neighborhood, Tara, felt the promptings of the spirit to offer her kidney. Doctors found that she was a match and six weeks ago she gave her kidney to Alvin. This was a great act of charity for this very young woman of faith. She had vision, in exercising her faith that this man would be made whole.

These women, those they served, and those that served them, have strengthened me by their example of faith, virtue, vision, and charity over the years. As a result, I have had faith and vision to overcome adversity, have found ways to exercise charity, and have been inspired to be more virtuous.

As stated in the Relief Society Declaration the Women of the Relief Society of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, "increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ through prayer and scripture study."

Joseph Smith read a verse of scripture, James 1:5, that led him to pray and seek guidance, and that scripture is in the Bible. That scripture is to "anyone." I am "anyone." When I was seeking in my youth and looking for a church to belong to, the idea that I could receive my own answers directly from the Lord, appealed to me. I had learned from reading in the Book of Acts, in the New Testament that "God was no respecter of persons." I did not need to be a missionary or a minister to pray and study the scriptures. As I prayed and received answers and impressions that guided me, my testimony in Jesus Christ grew. As I studied the scriptures and applied the knowledge and spiritual promptings I received from studying the scriptures, my testimony in Jesus Christ grew.

Through scripture study I have learned many things about prayer and these things draw me closer to Christ and build my testimony in Him. First, I learned to pray a sincere prayer and not a memorized one, or "vain repetitions." Then I learned to "pray without ceasing." I do pray often and I discovered that I can carry a prayer in my heart by memorizing hymns, which is not "vain" repetition if I am sincere. Of course, the scripture speaks of the "song of the righteous," and this helps me remember to choose the right way and follow Jesus, which, as He says that if I will do His will, I will know whether it is of Him or His Father. His will is that I follow Him. If I am sick, I know I can call the Elders and seek a blessing, which is administered through a prayer over me and the laying on of hands. I have done this as often as I have had needed. Every Sunday, in Sacrament Meeting, my heart joins in prayer as the prayers (found in Moroni 4 and Moroni 5)are offered over the sacrament. Each of these kinds of prayers have strengthened my testimony in Jesus Christ.

I have studied scriptures in many ways. In Sunday School we study the scriptures in a four-year rotation, going through: The King James Bible (for two years,both Old and New Testaments), the The Book of Mormon (for one year), and The Doctrine and Covenants (for one year). There are times I have studied the scriptures sequentially, reading each day picking up where I left off the day before, always seeking to know what God desires that I learn, from my reading that day. There are times I went through the Topical Guide or Bible Dictionary and read things by topic, following a thread and looking up cross references. I always try to remember that it is more important to get the scriptures through me, rather than for me to get through the scriptures. If I approach reading the scriptures with an attitude and prayer to find what the Lord has for me, my testimony of Jesus Christ is strengthened, and I feel His watch-care and love for me.