Women's Issues

As daughters of God, “our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction". (Relief Society Declaration) God loves all of us, His spirit daughters, and has a plan for our lives, a plan of happiness, also known as the plan of salvation.

“Questions like, Where did we come from? Why are we here? and Where are we going? are answered in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Prophets have called it the plan of salvation and “the great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8). Through inspiration we can understand this road map of eternity and use it to guide our path in mortality.” Dallin H. Oaks, “‘The Great Plan of Happiness’,” Ensign, Nov 1993, 72

Though this Plan of Happiness is a road map for eternity, there is plenty of room for the individual variety of talents, gifts, and strengths of each of God’s children. Why? Though there are certain signposts which are elements that the road map provides for God’s children, these things do not make us cookie cutter Saints. Each of us is different, just like vehicles on any road will be.

Women are essential to God’s plan of happiness and have a sacred and unique role in this plan of salvation, to bear and nurture the souls of men. Only women have been given the capacity to bear children. This is a sacred trust. I marvel that God trusts us with such vital tasks. The children that women bear are spirit sons and daughters of God.

“Motherhood thus becomes a holy calling, a sacred dedication for carrying out the Lord’s plans, a consecration of devotion to the uprearing and fostering, the nurturing in body, mind, and spirit, of those who kept their first estate and who come to this earth for their second estate ‘to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.’ (Abr. 3:25) To lead them to keep their second estate is the work of motherhood, and ‘they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever.’ ” (read by J. Reuben Clark, Jr. "General Epistle of the First Presidency to the Saints in Every Land, October 3, 1942)

So, we see that motherhood helps fulfill God’s purposes in bringing to past the immortality of man. God blessed women with special gifts to bear and nurture children. I find it interesting that we refer to the marriage ceremony as holy matrimony. The word matrimony comes from the Latin “mater” meaning mother, and -monium which is a Latin suffix, meaning or signifying “the state or condition.” So, Holy Matrimony quite literally means sacred, or set apart for motherhood, which is a holy calling.

“President Gordon B. Hinckley stated that “God planted within women something divine.” That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew Cowley taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.” (Sheri L. Dew, “Are We Not All Mothers?,” Ensign, Nov 2001, 96)

As a mother of seven children and a grandmother to five grandsons, I have felt the weight of my holy calling to teach and guide my children. Yet, the knowledge that I am not alone in this task has been a boon to me. These are God’s children and I go to Him often in prayer and search the scriptures and words of the living prophets for guidance in this awesome task. I have found answers and received impressions as to what I should do. These have guided me to do the things I need to do to rear His children. I am not perfect in this. When I am not, He does not let me alone, the circumstances soon draw me to my knees, where I find peace, encouragement, and direction.

Though some women may never bear children in mortality, it is important that they understand that motherhood is not limited to bearing of children.

“Motherhood is more than bearing children… It is the essence of who we are as women... Few of us will reach our potential without the nurturing of both the mother who bore us and the mothers who bear with us.” (Sheri L. Dew, “Are We Not All Mothers?,” Ensign, Nov 2001, 96)

I have a daughter. She is single and approaching 26-years-old. She is not a mother, in the sense of having given birth. She does mother many though. She has a gift of being able to reach out to and inspire children and adults alike, by sharing stories of those who have influenced her.

One of the great sacred blessings of Church membership is to receive a Patriarchal Blessing. Often, within that blessing are further indications of the purposes that God has for you, in your life, and the unique gifts He has given you to carry out that purpose.

I watch as individual women turn to their Heavenly Father, He does help them to see and understand the meaning, purpose, and direction for a life and eternity that will lead them to everlasting joy.

Within the Relief Society Declaration is the statement: “As a worldwide sisterhood, we are united in our devotion to Jesus Christ, our Savior and Exemplar.” Yes, as established in a previous post, we are a world wide sisterhood, spirit daughters of our Heavenly Father. We unite in our devotion to Jesus Christ, with our brothers, to follow Christ’s example. We are most definitely Christian. Our sisterhood is not demeaned or made less valuable because we work beside God’s spirit sons in building our families and building up the kingdom of God upon the earth.

Jesus is our Savior, not any man, nor any institution, not even the arm of our own flesh can save us from the effects of the Fall. We are equal with our brothers before God, in having access to the Atonement of Christ in our lives. We are disciples of Christ.

“The following has been written about discipleship: ‘The word disciple comes from the Latin [meaning] a learner. A disciple of Christ is one who is learning to be like Christ—learning to think, to feel, and to act [like] he does. To be a true disciple, to fulfill that learning task, is the most demanding regimen known to man. No other discipline compares … in either requirements or rewards. It involves the total transformation of a person from the state of the natural man to that of [a] saint, one who loves the Lord and serves with all of his heart, might, mind, and strength’ (Chauncey C. Riddle, “Becoming a Disciple,” Ensign, Sept. 1974, 81)” as quoted by L. Tom Perry, “Discipleship,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 60–62)

Sister Virginia U. Jensen, who previously served in the General Relief Society presidency, applies discipleship directly to women:

“...the actions of righteous women ripple on and on through time and space and even generations. These righteous actions come from our understanding of the divine mission of Jesus Christ, our knowledge of the gospel plan, our obedience to eternal commandments, and our work in this, the kingdom of God on earth.” (Virginia U. Jensen, “Ripples,” Ensign, Nov 2000, 92–94)

In truth, the actions of each of us ripple on and on. Our actions and attitudes impact all around us, and the generations that follow them. This being the case, I feel it is important to consider what ripples we are sending out. I am now 53 and thankful for the righteous women I have associated with through Relief Society over the last 35 years. Their devotion to the Savior has let His life and teachings shine through them. As He is the light, they hold up. Their faith in trials has given me hope, strengthened me and reminded me where to turn when I have challenges to face.

Jesus Christ is our exemplar and shows us the way to our Heavenly Home.

“Let us follow the Son of God in all ways and in all walks of life. Let us make him our exemplar and our guide. We should at every opportunity ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” and then be more courageous to act upon the answer. We must follow Christ, in the best sense of that word. We must be about his work as he was about his Father’s.” (Howard W. Hunter, “‘What Manner of Men Ought Ye to Be?’,” Ensign, May 1994, 64)

I know I am a better person for the service that has been rendered me, just as much as by the times I was able to serve others. It is often easier to serve than to be served. In the economy of Heaven, we all get to have our turn to serve, and to be served. Sometimes, one of the hardest things we have to do is to let someone serve us. Yet, letting someone serve us, in our time of need, is a service to them. It serves them by helping them be able to follow the Savior's example. When I was bedfast for two weeks after a miscarriage, a dear sister in the ward came to cheer me, bring books to read, play Scrabble with me, and talk with me. Her cheerfulness uplifted me and diverted my mind past something I could do nothing about. Others brought in meals to help my family during this challenge. I know there were prayers offered, as well. They were doing what Jesus would have done.

Jesus invited people to follow Him.

“Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. (John 8: 12)

I am strengthened and invited to be devoted to Christ and follow His example when I go to Relief Society classes each Sunday. I feel the unity that comes by meeting together often to learn of His ways. I feel the unity and devotion of the sisters in Relief Society when my visiting teachers come each month and discuss with me the message from the General Relief Society Presidency of the Church. As these sisters do, they share experiences that have strengthened them. These sisters share insights they have gained from experience in doing what Jesus would do, and doing as He would have them do. They are united in caring for His flock and teaching by following His example.

There is a strengthening influence in this worldwide sisterhood as they are united in devotion to Jesus Christ and to follow His example, as these sisters rely on the Lord to guide them to do things in wisdom and order, as they serve and let themselves be served by their sisters in Relief Society.

This is not all. I watch as their hands and hearts are extended beyond their homes and sisterhood. I see this as they gather together to make quilts, loom hats, make leper bandages, host a blood drive, assist with a neighborhood cleanup, and more. They live busy lives and yet they find time to think beyond themselves, do as Jesus would do, love and serve one another. I feel this is because they are united in their devotion to Christ and strengthened through the living example of His love working through this worldwide sisterhood.

Who are the women of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and what do they believe about womanhood? I feel that Mary Ellen Smoot, President of the Relief Society, answered these very questions when she introduced the world and the women of the Church to the Relief Society Declaration in a General Relief Society Broadcast held 25 September, 1999. This declaration was in response to “inquiries from outside the Church, and to remind ourselves, the women of the LDS Church, of the grand blessings of womanhood.” I feel that this is a great place to start blogging about women and women’s issues in the LDS Church.

Who are we? “We are beloved spirit daughters of God.” What does it mean to be a spirit daughter of God? God is the literal Father of our spirits and we were created in His image. With God as the literal Father of our spirits, we are all sisters, and that includes being sisters to all of God’s spirit sons.

One usually inherits their potential from their parents, and being daughters of God is no different. We also become daughters of God when we are born again.

“To be a daughter of God means that you are the offspring of Deity, literal descendants of a Divine Father, inheriting godly attributes and potential. To be a daughter of God also means that you have been born again, changed from a “carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness.” (James E. Faust, “What It Means to Be a Daughter of God,” Ensign, Nov 1999, 100)

and

“And the Lord said unto me: Marvel not that all mankind, yea, men and women, all nations, kindreds, tongues and people, must be born again; yea, born of God, changed from their carnal and fallen state, to a state of righteousness, being redeemed of God, becoming his sons and daughters;” (Mosiah 27:25)

As a daughter of God, we have within us attributes of our Divine parentage. Being creators are one of the most powerful Divine attributes we, as daughters of God, possess, In the Bible we first see Heavenly Father as our Creator.

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. (Genesis 1:1)

We, like our Father in Heaven, are creators, as well.

“We are all creators...Creation is one of the characteristics that defines God. He takes matter without form and molds it into stars, planets, and solar systems. “Worlds without number have I created,” He tells us.

Brothers and sisters, we are children of God. Shouldn’t we be about our Father’s business? Shouldn’t we be creators as well?” (Mary Ellen Smoot, “We Are Creators,” Ensign, May 2000, 64)

The question at this point is, what in this world are we creating, as individual daughters of God? What kind of homes are we creating? What kind of communities are we creating? What kind of future are we creating for ourselves and loved ones through the choices we make today? We create both by action and inaction. A choice not to act is still a choice. There is no middle ground.

“If you are unhappy, if you are feeling weary, troubled, or disillusioned, may I ask you to try something? Instead of dwelling on your troubles, focus instead on creating something remarkable, something of eternal significance. Nurture a testimony, strengthen a relationship, write a family history, go to the temple, serve.” (Mary Ellen Smoot, “We Are Creators,” Ensign, May 2000, 64)

I believe that it is within the scope of every daughter of God to live up to the Divine heritage within
each of us, and create something of impact for good.

In future posts, I will explore further the Relief Society Declaration.

There has been a lot said recently about a certain new children’s book. Apparently the whole premise of the book is to prepare a child for their mother’s upcoming plastic surgery. At this point I become very torn. While the nurse in me agrees that children definitely need to be told and kindly taught what is going on with their mother when she undergoes any surgery, the woman in me becomes a bit discouraged. Plastic surgery is a very strange message to be sharing with children, especially when the images and focus of the book is taking a natural, wholesome woman and mother and surgically creating something “beautiful”. Is the child who loves totally and completely supposed to now judge that love based on whether or not the mother is beautiful?

I almost wonder if the woman who is being so critical of herself is perpetuating a dangerous cycle. We already have a huge problem with eating disorders and other physical manipulations as our young teens try to make themselves pretty according to the current standards. How young does a child have to be to realize that the woman who hates her own body and criticizes herself can also be looking at the child in the same way? I used to do some counseling in a teen unit for eating disorders. Do you want to know the number one stated beginning steps toward such destructive behaviors were? Watching their mothers. Whether or not the woman was anorexic herself, she was sending a very clear message to the child that weight and shape, and being able to control those things, were more important than many others. As the teen grew it became more obvious and the woman began including the child in her comparisons. Oh yes, there were many more very serious reasons why these girls were choosing to harm themselves, but the underlying cause for choosing this path rather than another was watching women they admire spend all their time focused on their waistline.

I do realize that there is a definite place in this world for the talents of plastic surgeons. Knowing many who have had to undergo mastectomies, I consider it a great blessing for them to have the option of replacing what has been lost. There are many other valid reasons a woman might contemplate this type of surgery. I don’t think a crooked nose should be one of them. I do not see the need to take what is already beautiful and unique about women and mold it into something else. The image of an ideal woman, physically, is a changeable creature. I think we have let ourselves become a little bit too gullible. The Lord’s views on what makes a woman beautiful have never changed and still today we berate and belittle God’s creation and feel that the world’s standard is the one we should be conforming to.

It’s not just some women; I would dare to say that in this day and age it is most women. I’m just as guilty as most. Most days I never think about my rather fluffy shape or limp hair. I’m too busy living life and finding joy in it. But there are plenty of other days when I’m already frustrated or too focused on myself when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, or see a candid photo of myself and think, “ugh, who is that hideous woman”? That’s simply a part of our feminine nature that draws us to beauty. We want to reflect that in ourselves. May I boldly suggest though that we need to judge our own beauty on our Heavenly Father’s view of us, not the world’s?

I’m talking about more than saying someone is "beautiful inside", I’m talking about realizing that when we really are beautiful on the inside what we radiate outside is the most beautiful glow of all. Sure, we have flaws. This is an imperfect world. But it is still full of diversified beauty. The landscape I find beautiful, may not be the same that you appreciate, and that is how it should be. The beauty of our bodies is the same. I have never had someone come up to me and say, “thank you for helping me, but next time don’t come if you’ve got a zit on your chin.” You want to know who was thinking that as they headed out the door? Me. Because Satan did not want me to be an instrument in the Lord’s hands, He did not want me to experience a true joy that has nothing to do with whether or not my jeans fit right.

Below is the well-known poem Audrey Hepburn once quoted when asked to share her ‘beauty tips’.

“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.”

I think I’d like to see more children’s books that teach these concepts and let the plastic surgery one gather dust on the shelf.