Women's Issues

There has been a lot said recently about a certain new children’s book. Apparently the whole premise of the book is to prepare a child for their mother’s upcoming plastic surgery. At this point I become very torn. While the nurse in me agrees that children definitely need to be told and kindly taught what is going on with their mother when she undergoes any surgery, the woman in me becomes a bit discouraged. Plastic surgery is a very strange message to be sharing with children, especially when the images and focus of the book is taking a natural, wholesome woman and mother and surgically creating something “beautiful”. Is the child who loves totally and completely supposed to now judge that love based on whether or not the mother is beautiful? I almo... Read More

Go on, admit it. Every mother’s been there. It’s what we do every single day of our lives. We are faced with this huge task of taking a totally dependent little bundle of joy from point A to point B (where they are a happy, productive adult member of society). Subconsciously, we just know we are failing. Subliminally, we recognize that we’re just making things more difficult for ourselves. Yet, we can’t seem to force ourselves to do things differently. We cling to the silliest things, and let go of some of the most practical. We secretly idolize our own mothers (whether we hate them or not) because they ... Read More

There are so many demands on a woman’s time. We live in an age which has taught us that women can be anything that they want. Quite honestly, it’s instilled another belief as well. Not only do women feel more empowered to be anything they had somehow gotten the notion that means they need to “be” everything. Somehow, in the process of empowering women to their natural abilities to excel and come off conqueror in any battle they might find themselves in, we have managed to back ourselves into a corner fighting more battles than anyone could win on their own. It comes back down to the basics. The part of the “be anything” philosophy that gets conveniently over looked is making conscious choices. Instead of anything we want, our ideas becom... Read More

The influence of the Relief Society in my life is unmistakable. The Relief Society is the women’s organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or the Mormon faith as it is sometimes known. Today, I’d like to share a few things that the women of the Relief Society have taught me. These lessons continue to bless my life and that of my husband and children. Lessons on Faith. Women of the Relief Society are extraordinary women of faith. I’ve heard the women of the Relief Society described as extraordinary women. Not perfect, but extraordinary! I like that description. Let me rephrase that – I love that description. ... Read More

I know something about living in a part-member family. Actually, I know a lot about it! If you've been a reader of this blog for some time, then you know that my husband is a convert. He didn't become an official member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (informally known as the Mormon Church) until several years into our marriage. He was a permanent visitor for a long time before then and those of you in part-member marriages know what that means. There are many strong women in the Church that are married to ... Read More

I didn't always aspire to be a stay at home mom. I aspired to be many things and not one of those things was being a housewife (does anyone else hate that word as much as I do?). I've always enjoyed the challenge of a professional career. I worked hard for it, even went on to graduate school so that I can pursue the career that I've always wanted. Being a stay home mom was the furthest thing from my mind. I will even go further and say that being a stay home mom didn't come naturally to me. Now in case you're wondering, I do enjoy being a mom. I love being a mother. I do indeed believe that being a mother is the most im... Read More

As a mother, my heart weeps for Mary, the mother of Jesus this day. What pain she must have felt to see what her son endured as He was beaten, reviled and humiliated, and crucified so mercilessly on the cross. What mother could bear to see her child in the throes of such agony? What depths of despair and grief she must have felt! I imagine she cried out when she heard her son utter words of love from the cross, "Woman, behold thy Son!" (John 19:26) Oh, blessed Mary, my heart aches at the mere thought of what you witnessed this day. ... Read More

Yesterday, March 17th, marked the 166th birthday of the Relief Society - the Women's organization of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (informally known as the Mormon Church). Some Relief Society units like this one in Cape Girardeau, Missouri commemorated this important day by performing different acts of service in their communities. This great organization started in the Spring of 1842 when a small group of women in Nauvoo decided to pool their talent... Read More

During the time that the adults are in Sunday School and Relief Society (for women) or Priesthood (for men), children over 18 months old will be in their own classes. Children 18 months to 3 years participate in Nursery. This classroom will have a few to several teachers serving there (depending on the size of the nursery). There are books, toys, games and puzzles available for the children to play with. They may play games like "duck, duck, goose" or "ring around the rosies" or they might have bubbles to blow and s... Read More

There are three different meetings that members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints participate in during regular Sabbath observance. Sacrament Meeting is the most important meeting of all and is where we partake of the emblems of the body and blood of Christ and renew our covenants with Him. Sacrament Meeting usually lasts for 70 minutes. But there are other meetings that happen before or after Sacrament Meeting (depending on the ward and building scheduling times). Relief Society is one of these meetings. Relief Society is specifically designed for Mormon women, ages 18 and older. Today it is the largest women’s organization in the world. W... Read More

So many people today are disenchanted with the commercialization of Christmas, the predominance of Santa and the relative absence of Jesus Christ, the overspending and the focus on materialism and gift-getting. But I'd like to take a moment and share with you how the "spirit of Christmas" really is the spirit of Christ and the importance that Christmas carols played in my life. I grew up in a non-religious household. We did not attend church, except for a brief stint when I was ten, and even then I mostly worked in the nursery and never listened to the sermons or went to Sunday School. We did not talk about religion or God, although I knew that my mother believed He existed. We did not pray, not even at mealtimes, nor was I taught how or when to pray. We did not discuss Jesus Ch... Read More

You may be familiar with the idea of clean-cut, clean-shaven young men in dark suits with name tags being missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That’s probably because there are over 40,000 of them right now serving in areas all over the world. But you may not have known that women in the church serve missions, too. They make up about 13,000 of the Church’s proselyting force. Unlike the young men who generally begin their missionary service at age 19, a woman is eligible to begin her missionary service at age 21 and will serve for 18 months. Because... Read More

One of the differences I’ve noted between the Mormons and other Christian denominations is their view of Eve. From what I understand, many churches view Eve’s choice to partake of the fruit in the Garden of Eden as inherently wicked and that thereby she introduced sin into the world and hence all mankind are born into a state of “original sin.” This is not the view held by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Because of the Fall of Adam and Eve, all people live in a fallen condition, separated from God and subject to physical death. However, we are not condemned by what many call the "... Read More

I have seen countless depictions of the birth of Christ via paintings, books, Hollywood movies and Church productions. But there is precious little detail about His actual birth. And as a woman who has given birth seven (going on eight) times, I can’t help but think of Mary at that time and try to identify with her and try to imagine what she must have been thinking and feeling. Surely she must have known that there was a chance that her baby would be born sometime before they returned to Galilee from Bethlehem for the census. Imagine that journey that probably actually took place in the spring rather than in winter. The average temperatures at that time of year range from the 50s to mid-60s. There is usually not much precipitation but the humidity is at about 60%. ... Read More

Sometimes people get Mormons confused with the Amish. They are under the false impression that we don’t use electricity (watch me blog!), that the women must wear dark, floor length skirts, or cover our heads at all times. Because most people know that we do not drink or smoke, they often wonder if that means we also discourage other things like dancing. Sometimes people are under the false assumption that Mormons still practice polygamy and they think that Mormon women are oppressed and kept at home barefoot and pregnant, with no education. I can’t speak for every woman who is a member of the Church of Jesus Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But this is what my experience has been as an LDS woman. The prophet has encouraged me to get an ... Read More

I was talking on the phone to a friend several years ago. We were complaining about our husbands and laughing at what seemed to be universal faults with the sex. I was criticizing my own husband and mocking his faults and shortcomings, repeating the same litany of offenses that women on talk shows and in magazines and books seemed to encounter in their own spouses. Why are men like that? Why can’t he see my more perfect point of view and just do things my way? It’s certainly easier than what he’s doing! My friend and I laughed and marveled at the crazy ways of men. And then I noticed that my young son was listening to me. I quickly re-evaluated my conversation and what it must have sounded like to him. I had denigrated his father and insulted him as a boy. I re... Read More

When I was in college, about half-way done with my degree, I met a girl whose boyfriend was then serving a Mormon mission. She was young, just 18. And she was just positive that when he came home in about a year, they were going to get married. It didn’t matter that the rest of us told her she should go ahead and use this time to date other boys. She was sure about what the future would hold for her. Because she believed firmly that they would begin their family as soon they were married and she would be a stay-at-home mom, she didn’t feel any urgency about going to college or beginning a career. I have to admit that most of us other young women thought she was cr... Read More

Last night, my baby had a case of insomnia. She wasn’t sick. She wasn’t crying. She just wasn’t sleeping. And while I lay down with her, trying to get her back to sleep, I was thinking of the widow’s mite (Mark 12:41-44). Jesus was sitting in the temple watching all the people come and donating money to the poor. Some of the people were rich and gave quite a bit. But the widow came and only cast in two mites, a paltry sum. But even though it was just a small amount, it was everything that she had. To the Savior, those two mites were worth more than all the other riches that had been cast in the treasury. Her sacrifice was worth more because she was able to give everything she had. The rich men who had more... Read More

If you're thinking about furthering your education, I recently discovered a website that compares Mormon schools. Whether you are LDS or not, planning on going back to college full-time or not, you can get a lot of information at www.besmart.com. "Be Smart" is one of President Hinckley's 6 B's. 1. Be grateful. 2. Be smart. 3. Be clean. 4. Be true. 5. Be humble. 6. Be prayerful. "Be smar... Read More

You've already had your first fight. Now what? My husband and I had taken a Celestial Marriage class at the Institute before we were married. One of the things that I remember from the class was certain prophets and church leaders who claimed never to have had an argument with their spouse. I wanted to be like that. I knew that we loved each other enough to be one of those couples. I don’t really know why I thought that since we had already had arguments while we were dating and especially during the pressures of the engagement and planning the wedding. But that was our goal. And we came up with some ideas to avoid arguments. The first idea was that ... Read More

I remember the day I got married. My husband was so handsome and I knew that I could never love any one more than I loved him then and that it was so right to marry him. After our sealing ceremony in the temple, we parted ways to go change clothing. When I saw my husband next, he was waiting for me in the lobby of the temple talking to one of my former roommates. She told me later that he had been in the middle of saying something but that when I walked in the room he completely lost track of what he was saying and just stared at me. I felt like a princess in my own private fantasy. My mother-in-law used to get frustrated with us in those early days, because my husband and I had to do everything together. I felt like I couldn’t really function without him. Even just the si... Read More

Shortly after we were married, my husband and I discussed starting our family. We both wanted a large family we had talked about this before we even decided to marry. But suddenly, everything that had been theoretical before now had practical applications. I had grown up an only child raised by a single mother. I was a “latchkey kid” and was the only member in my family, having only been baptized into the Mormon church 4 years earlier. I really didn't feel like I knew what I was doing or that I was ready for it. One day in our Celestial Marriage class at the Institute, I was introduced to a talk given by President Ezra Taft Benson, “... Read More

A couple of years ago, I was sitting in a store and a woman walked by with her pre-teen boy. The boy obviously loved his mother and was staying close to her. They were talking about getting something for Dad. The woman didn’t seem particularly attractive to me. I would describe her as average. Yet, obviously, her son thought the world of her and somewhere she had a husband who probably adored her. I thought of myself. I know I certainly didn’t look like a movie star. I felt rather plain myself. I probably even had peanut butter on my shirt someplace. Yet, I too, had children who loved me and whose world was centered on me. I had a husband who thought I was the most beautiful woman in the world. Even with the peanut butter. One of Satan’s most powerf... Read More

A sentiment that I’ve heard quite a bit over the years in discussions of service is that sometimes "all people need is a smile". Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about that and wondering about the times in my life when a smile was all it took to change my outlook. Maybe I’m just a more morose woman than most. Or maybe my trials are just much harder than others’. But I could only come up with three times when someone merely smiling at me makes that much of a difference to me. My own children smiling at me has been known, not infrequently, to help me out of an emotional rough spot. Seeing my offspring delighted and happy and grateful does have a healing effect on my heart. There was once a woman who was the crossing guard at my childrenR... Read More

I know I just wrote about Becoming Mary. And that’s an excellent goal. We should be more like her. But today I’m thinking that becoming Martha really isn’t all that bad either. In two weeks, my husband’s rather large family is coming to stay with us. Over Thanksgiving weekend there will be about 40 us living in my house and eating Thanksgiving dinner. And while I am looking forward to it immensely (Who doesn’t just love to see all the cousins playing together?!), it also means that I have to clean my house. And not just a regular cleaning like when people come to visit and you make it look nice. This needs to be a deep down, soul-cleansing, cleaning because they’ll be living here and opening ... Read More

The last paragraph in the Proclamation on the Family is a plea from the first presidency. It is a request for me and for you to act. We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society. Now, I have to be honest with you. I am a political black hole. I live a life that revolves around missing homework, diaper changes, stretching the grocery budget, and kissing owies. And within that blissful bubble, few political issues enter. And those that I do become aware of, I rarely give my attention or thoughtful time to consider. And it's a shame. It's a shame because in the ... Read More